WHAT THE CUT #22 – DU KUNG-FU, DES ARBRES ET DU PIPI
Hi, you worthless fucks. Do you feel safe ? When you go in the street, do you take a pepper spray, a cutter or a gun ? Because I do! “Excuse me, what time is it please? – YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA” *gun sounds* I feel extremely unsafe… But be reassured, the guys in the first video have the solution. It’s called ‘Retard-Fu can destroy paper!’ [Translating in French] The freeze frames at the end of each shot are fantastic Ladies, contain your orgasms So in a nutshell, if you get assaulted in the streets… Just act crazy. ‘Hey! Gimme yo fuckin’ money!’ When you watch kung-fu, people usually destroy bricks, you know? Well here, these dudes destroy PAPER! And it’s so badass they even zoom in! Don’t mock them! I tried and it’s hella hard. And what are they gonna do to this poor paper sheet? These filthy pervs! Still, this sports looks hella dangerous! It even looks like these guys are afraid of hurting themselves! ‘I’m gonna hit myself!’ Still, we have to mention the fact that these dudes invented the Harlem Shake before it was cool! And the thing I love the most is the face of the guy who’s proud as hell that he destroyed a mere little piece of paper. ‘What u gonna do??’ Seriously, there are too many things to say about this video! First they are training in a fucking monastery just like Shaolin monks swag swaggy u know it bae There’s a great master… PEDOPHILE ALERT who looks freaking badass and practises shirtless! We can also say that the pupils are doing everything they can to preserve their virginity. ‘A girl? Mmh… I don’t know this pokemon.’ Then if you pause the video at any moment it’s always ugly as fuck… And is it just me or they look like fucking cats fighting? Still, these guys are freaking hardcore, ripping paper with their fists! Wanna know what’s even more badass? Paper, as we all know, is made from trees. So what’s more badass than some dudes destroying paper? A guy destroying trees. Dude…Why are you doing that ? What’s your project ? I don’t know… This dude bought recording material to film himself destroying trees in the forest… What made this guy have such hartred towards trees? -Heard that? This tree called you a fucker!
-What? -I’d be pissed if I were you! Moreover it… Wow, it insulted your mom! It said you sister sucked bear dicks… It said your mom liked coffee machines! It said you had a small dick! REVENGE Honestly, I’m barely exaggerating… Look at this! What did this poor tree trunk do to him for him to be so violent? ‘Take that you bitch!’ ‘I’m gonna beat you up!’ ‘Take that!’ ‘You bitch!’ ‘You fucking trunk, you killed my father!’ And listen to that: what are his arguments against trees? ‘Fucking camping motherfuckers!’ Clearly! Trees are fucking campers! They always stay at the same spot! Those sons of a b- What would it be like if we got mad at every inanimate object? ‘You fucking shitty heater!’ ‘You bitch of a towel!’ ‘Fucking fan, it’s the last time you steal the spotlight from me!’ And each time he makes a tree fall, he gives the camera a look as if trying to impress the viewer. Just in case some plants or trees watch this video! ‘Ohhh no, he’s gonna beat the shit out of me!’ Still, since we live in a world which sort of civilised… It would be good if he just had a talk with the plants in order to know what’s wrong. ‘I’m listening to your agruments.’ ‘I’m sorry but I can’t let you say such things! I’m sorry, I can’t let you say that!’ But the sad thing is that everyone focus on this guy and no one thinks about the poor trees getting abused in this video. ‘These trees were my friends…’ Still, he seems to be really good at survival… He’s always in places that look cold, there’s snow, it’s in the forest, there are lakes… He kind of remind me of Bear Grylls from ‘Man vs Wild’ You know, that guy who’s always drinking his own piss. What a beautiful transition to introduce you to the third video! So let me warn you right away: there are scientists drinking their urine in this video. I’m not kidding. It’s an extract from a documentary introducing you to the good effects of ‘urinotherapy’. In order not to shock the most sensitive of you, I edited out all the moments when they are drinking their urine. So if you’re interested – which is totally normal – you can watch it entirely, I put the link in the description below, of course. Now! Let’s see that! (Quebec accent) ‘This is my…my urine.’ Best. First sentence. Ever. ‘I drink it in a lively manner.’ ‘It’s life water.’ ‘Delicious!’ ‘Perfect!’ ‘No taste at all!’ ‘Lightly salty…’ ‘Delicious!’ ‘I started urinotherapy only for science.’ ‘For my studies about ‘naturopathy’, I started urinotherapy as an experiment on myself and my family members.’ ‘Mario is thirty-six.’ ‘For him, urinotherapy is life-saving.’ ‘For twenty years, he has been having digestive problems.’ ‘And according to him, traditional medecine was never able to help him.’ ‘To drink your urine is not an easy task…’ ‘At first, Mario was disgusted, he couldn’t do it: for him, this yellowish liquid is unclean.’ ‘So Mario started with coating his body with urine in order to get used to the contact.’ ‘After several weeks of hesitation, Mario managed to dip his lips in this real life water.’ ‘The day I realised my husband was drinking his urine, I had a very bad reaction…’ ‘So I warned him: “if you keep doing that, you won’t kiss me ever again”.’ ‘Either you leave this house or I do.’ ‘But since that day, Mrs. Bosche totally changed her mind: now, she is crazy about urinotherapy.’ ‘Carmen Bosche found a true fountain of youth in her urine.’ ‘For my face, I don’t use any kind of cream anymore…’ ‘All I use is lipstick and… my urine.’ ‘-You massage your face with your urine?
-Yes, and I wash my head with urine.’ If you still hadn’t understood that eating while watching WTC is a bad idea, I think things are clear now. Well, I only showed you my own selection, because they put their piss EVERYWHERE! They use it to brush their teeth, they put it in their eyes… Basically, Freddy Mercury changed a lot! It tastes funny… What is it? ‘This is my… my urine.’ Funny thing to see: people are clashing in the comments! ‘Before jumping to conclusions… Taste it… To make your own opinion!’ ‘What’s for dessert? Shit brownies? Keep drinking your own piss, no one will want to talk to you with your shitty breath.’ Above all, I love the presenter’s comments which are absolutely lovely! ‘Now he uses his urine in juicy ways, so to say!’ It’s disgusting… Except the fact that he’s Freddy Mercury’s clone and brushes his teeth with his urine, (Southern accent) we can also mention that he is growing chive next to his sink, and that he practises trampoline at home, dressed in a fabulous flashy pink and yellow underwear! But honestly, the scientist who invented this method is creepy as hell! ‘I’ll drink your urine because it’s good for my health.’ As for myself, ever since I’ve seen that documentary, I adopted that method in my everyday life! -Antoine, I have a headache, do you have some painkillers?
-Yep, coming! No problem… Of course, I’m laughing about it, but maybe urine actually has amazing medical virtues which we don’t know about! So maybe they’re not saying bullshit and I’m the one who’s wrong. There ! This was the 22nd episode of What The Cut. As you may have noticed I’m now using HD, I think it’s a little bit better than a crappy webcam. If you enjoyed this episode, don’t hesitate to join my Facebook page, to follow me on Twitter, @MrAntoineDaniel and of course, share this video, that’s the most important thing. Also, this channel just went past 100k suscribers, it’s absolutely huge! Yeah, I know what you’re going to say, but I’m not going to say it… Just like my dick. So I really wanted to infinitely thank you, it’s simply unbelievable! So… Thank you all! There, we’ll meet again in about two weeks for the 23rd episode of WTC and until then I wish you good luck. I don’t know why but… Good luck. Love you.