The Most BS Martial Artists Ever – Fake Kung Fu, Fake Chi, Fake Karate Breakdown
This is what happens when you bring an animal style of Kung Fu to Russia and it has vodka Look at these stiff animal-like moves. He’s like a combination of snake and mantis (hits bag) All right. Oh, look at that: Now it’s tiger I assume! Vodka tiger! (Laughing) WTF is that!? Okay, another demonstration of this move (Hits bag) What are you using? Your forearm?? (laughing) Alright so sticking with the Russian theme we have a Russian guy here. He’s getting warmed up. What is he gonna teach? Let’s see! Oh, Russian dance fighting! Oh, Russian step dancing. Look at this: “I am going to be able to destroy people with these step dance moves!” Now it’s Russian drunken boxing! Again, the point in kung fu, in drunken boxing, for those of you who don’t know: You’re not actually drunk! You are faking the looseness of drunk people. But I think Russians took it literally and they’re actually drunk in this. You’re not supposed to actually drink vodka when you fight, ok? This…[laughing] Ok, people say I pick on Russians too much. So, look at this Chinese bullshit or Singaporean or Vietnamese bullshit. That’s some Asian bullshit He’s gonna transfer QI to the guy with glasses. Alright, let’s see if he can do it And Here we go! Yeah, look at that bullshit – right there! And now oh, wow, look at that bullshit! The guy on the right is cracking up. Like “oh, yeah, I know” “I mean, I’ve paid a lot of money.” Ooh!! Fly like little ragdoll Fly like a little ragdoll again… Look at him. He’s just cracking up. He’s like “Oh yeah. I’m a good actor right here!” And now our drunken Vodka guy is back! Look at him, showing off his snake mantis moves If I’m fighting a kid, I guess that would work Your arms Of course serve as nothing more than just distractions! You distract them with these flailing mantis arms While you use these low kicks. BAM! Look at that! I mean, I guess it’s effective Yeah, I’m pretty distracted by his arms. I’m not paying attention to how exposed he is So now this guy! He’s got some QI! Look at him! Obviously that’s fake concrete. (Moderator: “To be honest, I actually felt these bricks. These are real bricks. I mean, there’s no…oh…whoops..”) The reporter just accidentally revealed his secret!! Oh no!! (qi master: how’d you do that?) Oh, caught red-handed this fake Kung Fu “Master”! So these are black belts! I don’t know where they got their black belt that looks like Japanese in the back so Those were some Kamehameha moves. And now this is another kung fu, not kung fu, I don’t know what this is, but… I like, how, none of the students can do it together. And of course some of them have black belts, too. So… I guess this is the YMCA McDojo Because if you look in the background, it looks like a high school gym or something or the local YMCA or something? What does YMCA stand for, by the way? How did they all have black belts? That’s what I’ve always wondered about this clip and the clip before “Samantha is going to try, for her first time..” “..to actually knock me out” “using just the sound and the energy projection.” Just listening to the sound of his voice and how tired he is from talking makes me want to just knock myself out. (she yells) (Jerry laughs) This is, this is just another level of bullshit! The previous types of bullshit at least they touched. This one, there was no touch even Of course, he has to pretend like he’s actually knocked out They have to resuscitate him. Hit him in the neck, huh? That’s how you resuscitate someone? What, uhm, what school of sports medicine is that? Oh yeah, there’s trouble getting up. Not because of any QI, but because he’s fat – I’m sorry guys. Oh, this is too much guys Master in Bullshido!!