The Indestructable Piñata


Piñatas I love piñatas. It’s perfect for when you want to beat something to death, but also want candy! Why do they make it look so pretty? Most of the time when you’re playing with it, it looks like this: *Darkness* What the… ALEX what are you *stutter* doing here? I just wanted to know what it would feel like to have a million subscriber (*Holds “R”* s.) *Interupts* No, go. Get out. Go back to itsAlexClark and wait your turn. Okay… fine… Don’t come back unless you have cake! *SIGHS* Piñatas *Song Slows Down* Here is a story that involved me when I was a first
grader in a piñata. I don’t know if any of you guys did this
in your elementary school but when it was someone’s birthday, that kid would bring treats for the whole class. And then the whole class would take 10 minutes, stop
everything they’re doing and then pass out the pastries to everyone. How come we
don’t do that anymore? In high school, depending on the teacher, They don’t do
anything for your birthday party. And in college, heck, no one even talks to you. So I have
a twin sister and we were in the first grade together, so when it came time for
our birthdays we had to celebrate two birthdays. It’s double birthdays, we gotta
do something extra special My mom had an idea, “Let’s do a piñata.” But
since my mom is super cheap she decided to make her own piñata paper mâché. And
it turns out making homemade piñatas are easy. All you gotta do is blow up a
balloon, cover it in paper mâché, wait for it to harden, pop the balloon inside, cut a
hole up and fill it with candy, cover the whole back up with paper mâché, paint it and
then beat it senseless. Simple. So my mom went above and beyond made a sphere
piñata for our entire first grade class. Me and my sister’s birthday is towards the
end of the school year. In elementary school that last week of school, like, you
don’t even do anything, it doesn’t even count. So hopefully my teacher wasn’t too
mad what was about to transpire. My sister and I were just pumped the whole school
day because we helped build the piñata, we helped paint it and now we’re going to
help beat to pieces. The teacher eventually called out, “Alright class, James’ mom made us a piñata so we’re all gonna go outside and whack it!” Oh, YES! This was
perfect! It was our birthday; we got to beat up a piñata at school. I have the
best mom. Me and my sister got a swing first because we’re the birthday bois. We
didn’t end up breaking it, but I wasn’t mad. Let these other non-birthday people
have some fun, I’m a generous guy hey,in the end I just want the candy.so the next
guy goes up, then next and then the next and then eventually everyone gotta turn. Well,
piñatas supposed to break ain’t it?Apparently my mom was a little
precautious and put a few extra layers of paper mache and the pinata so that
way everyone would get a turn Yay! and apparently she also overestimated the
strength of paper mache and first-graders.But did this teacher let
the whole class down? No! You know what she did bless her soul she said “alright
class we’re all gonna take turns uhhh throwing this against a curb!” I mean what other option did this teacher
have? She could have stabbed it but I don’t think that would have been very
fun. Looking back she might have just been wanting to speed up the process but
as a group of seven year olds we had a blast! Also i’m glad the pinata was not
the shape of an animal because imagine how traumatizing that would have been to see
seven year old’s curb stomp a unicorn. We would have been like little tiny mob
bosses! Alright Tony, ready to give up the candy? (No I don’t) Such a shame you feel that way,
Tony. Bruce. I’m glad my mom was so thoughtful putting all those layers of
paper mache and the pinata because we all gotta turn throwing the pinata on
the ground. I remember getting so into it I remember
jumping up in the air before smashing the pinata onto the pavement. Nothing was
gonna get in between me and whatever candy was in there. Pretty soon though
we’re all getting pretty antsy everyone was like “uhh I was promised there’d be candy.” Eventually after what felt like an
eternity of beating this pinata into the ground we gotta rip. I don’t know if you
guys saw the first episode of the walking dead it’s actually the only
episode i’ve ever seen. And there’s a scene in the first episode
where the zombies rip open a horse and eat its organs. Well that was pretty much what it looks
like after we got a rip in the pinata. I don’t remember what candy was in
there but hopefully it was worth it. And that was probably the best and worst
pinata I ever broke. Have any of you guys curb stomped a piñata that your
mom made for you in the first grade. Tell me below in the comments. Also want to
give a big big thank you to CaptainSparklez who was okay with
playing a woman, I don’t know if you could tell, but my teacher was actually
Jordan. And it’s so cool that I’ve been looking up to CaptainSparklez for so
long and now he’s in one of my videos so dreams do come true I also want to give another thanks to
Alex. wait wait wait *sigh* What Alex? I’ve made you a cake it’s your favorite. Awww thanks Alex I hope it wasn’t too much
trouble, you’ll get there one day buddy Yeah… I will. wait what was that? You earned
it James congrats on one million subscribers! Cheers! Oh uhhh Cheers. mmh this is really good you should bake the
cake for when I hit two million next month. *Coughing Noises* Oh what was that? well James that’s very simple I poisoned
your cake. What! It’s so much fun you know because now the channel, It’s MINE. How
dare you Alex! *Continued Intense coughing noises*

68 thoughts on “The Indestructable Piñata

  1. When I was little I asked for a pinata one year, but I had a football tournament and when I got back the other fuckers already broke the damn thing. Only pinata I ever had and I wasn't allowed to beat it because the other guys broke it before I even got to see it.

  2. Alex Clark did wait his turn. And it came.

    Edit: I know some of you are like “duuuhhhh, IDIOT , do something more useful, nerd.”, but I commented because I felt happy, OK?
    I first saw this video probably on the same year it was uploaded, btw.

  3. Me: sees Alex is this the right channel?
    checks date or maybe its an old video?
    And then James comes in and YEETS Alex out
    Me: Oh ok

  4. I lived in Spokane city for a bit. And down town, by the main road, there was this black family beating a white girl pinata. The rope around its neck, swinging from a tree, as they all had bats beating this child designed pinata.

    I was there with my two-year old child, and felt like this was one of the greatest, racist, moment Ive ever enjoyed. If i wasn't with my family i probably would have asked to join…also, i dont think it was a birthday party… Think it was just some black people who really liked pinatas. …

  5. For my Brother in law’s 6th birthday we had a piñata. The second person to go broke the piñata open, but everyone else still wanted a turn. Soooo we duct taped the hole and kept going. Every time it broke again we just kept duct taping it, until it was almost completely covered 😂 we ended up putting it on the ground and breaking it open after about 20 minutes.

  6. I hate you because you're being mean to only YouTuber that struggling with their life but your life is perfect and you just expect everything from him I will kill you and I bet you are($) ha

Leave comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *.