Martial Arts Training Tip: Lose Control

Hey. Ando here from I just finished class and I wanted to talk
to you about a guy who stopped training, walked outside, and threw up in the parking lot. It happens. If you’re training hard, throwing up is just one
example of how you might lose control. I’ve seen guys scream, swear, start fights,
sit and stare at the wall, some guys walk off into the changing room, some guys walk outside— sometimes they come back, sometimes they don’t— I’ve even seen guys cry. To be honest, I’m the guy who cries. I can’t tell you how many times I finish
class, sit in the car, and just lose it. Why, why, why, why, why, why? Yikes. Now, you might think having a breakdown like that is stupid, or embarrassing, or ugly, but I don’t think so. I think a moment like that is beautiful. And I’ll tell you why right now. Losing control is a beautiful moment because
it only happens when you push past a limit. As human beings, we only break down when we get overwhelmed. When our tricks don’t work. When our best isn’t good enough. We get frustrated and angry when we can’t do
all of the things we want to do. And when that happens, when you lose control,
here’s my advice— don’t think of it as a breakdown, think of it as breakthrough. Screaming, puking, crying— these are not
moments of failure, these are moments of success. These are the moments when you’re breaking out
of your comfort zone. When you’re stepping into new territory. When you’re challenging your identity. And isn’t that the whole point of training
to class in the first place? I mean, you didn’t sign up for martial arts
classes to be the same, did you? No! You signed up to be braver, tougher, stronger, wiser. And for all of those things to happen, you have
to push to and through your limits. Which is why I say, if you’re not crying,
you’re not trying! Think about it. If you go to class and you’re always calm,
always comfortable, you get away with doing the same things, the same way, over and over again,
then what’s the point of even training? Why are you driving across town and paying for classes? What’s the point of changing your clothes
if you’re not changing yourself? The whole point of training is to reveal your
weaknesses so you can strengthen them. To reveal your bad habits, so you can replace
them with good habits. But to do that, you’ve got to put yourself
under pressure. You have to make yourself uncomfortable. You have to keep pushing until you lose control,
lose your cool, until you lose the old you. So, like it or not, learning doesn’t always feel good. And that’s why they’re called growing
pains. Now, you might be thinking, “What the hell
are you talking about? I’ve never screamed in class. I’ve never cried in my car. You’re just being a baby.” Yup! I’m a baby. And you know what? I’m proud to be a baby. You know why? Because babies are fast learners. That’s why when I find myself curled up in
a ball, and drool is bubbling on my lips, and tears are falling from my eye, I celebrate. And baby, so should you. Okay. To be your best— two steps. Step one– push until you lose
control. Step two– when you lose control, take control. How do you do that? You do that by making a choice: either quit or get back to work. If you choose to quit, that’s okay. Just be honest about why you’re quitting. Don’t make excuses. Don’t blame anybody. If something scared you, just say it. If you weren’t smart enough or tough enough,
just say it. Don’t lie about the why. There is no shame in reaching your limit,
there’s only shame in lying about it. The other choice is to get back to work. Get busy getting better. Ask questions, try some new moves, find new training
partners, record your workouts, then sit down and analyze that footage. Keep practicing and keep pushing until you
set a new limit. Once you have that new limit, then put it to the
test. Add stress until you lose control again. Then it’s just a matter of repeating these
two steps over and over and over again until the day you die. That’s how you become your best. So— have you had a good cry lately? Have you thrown up all over your training
partner? If not, I challenge you to go train a little
harder. Push until you lose control. Try until you cry. And then get back to work. That’s how you turn a breakdown into a breakthrough. If you liked that tip, don’t forget to hit subscribe. And to keep up with everything I’m dong,
find the link to sign up for my free email updates list. Until next time, go puke, and then
keep fighting for a happy life.

100 thoughts on “Martial Arts Training Tip: Lose Control

  1. Ando You are the man ! each video of yours are better than the other.
    God, so much wisdom !
    people with mentality like you should run the state .. you should run for president 🙂
    thank you Ando

  2. Amazing Ando! Love to sentence: You have to make yourself uncomfortable. 'Cause that's exactly it! We have to step out of our comfort zones to learn something new. This is not only for martial arts, that's for everything, that's for life! That's what I say over and over, MA not only teaches you how to defend yourself, it actually tells you what it means to live! It makes you more creative, more confident, better looking, more flexible, fitter, more wise….I mean everything! I love the way you explained that Ando! You did it in an entertaining way, well done! Keep on Sensei Ando!

  3. Excellent video, Ando. Sometimes I feel as though I have to fight against just going through the motions of a workout. Pushing through your limits will always lead to success in martial arts and also in your everyday life or job. Thanks, Sensei Ando.

  4. I wanted to cry today bc my sinuses have me feeling not well enough to train. Why do I feel like this before the final testing preparations??? 😳

  5. excellent video…wise words from a martial arts master. God bless you bro. You and Ummahfightcamp are like the grandmaster senseis on youtube

  6. i have a "strange" goal as an instructor. i want my students to have doubts and feel like they are not doing it well enough, and get discouraged, and even think about quitting because it isnt worth the pain and everything that goes into martial arts. i usually get this far before i am interrupted and therefore dont get a chance to explain. i dont want my dojo to be simply a place to hang out or a place to drop off your kids while go run errands. i want people to understand that, in here, we work and we work hard. i want there to be students who take time off to decide whether or not they will come back. i want this because those that come back any way will be far better at martial arts and life in general than ill ever be and that is what i want for my students. i want them to go father and deeper than i ever thought possible.

  7. I m glad I had found this video just now. I train myself at home in the filapino stick fighting arts. when I train with my sticks I notice that I have to train under a 15 to 20 minutes time frame because I get so into my training that I m afriad that I might break something at home where I train or fear of hurting my myself. I m really into my filapino stick fighting training. I enjoy it so much that one time I got so into it that I broke something in my room when I swung my sticks around by accident. What should I do? should I exceed my training time? Also I don't' want my passion/desire to get the better of me when I train.

  8. Thank you as always Sensei Ando. 😃 You made a me a better person . ☺️ "Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light”

  9. This video is right on time! I'm feeling the way you describe in this video as I'm about to teach a class this evening larger than I'm used to and I'm a little nervous about it.

  10. "Go puke"- I never thought I would hear that in a martial arts channel! LOL…
    Anyway another great trip Sensei- not a breakdown, but a breakthrough!

  11. My O my I can't stop wondering how beautiful of a soul you are Ando! You open your beautiful heart and express yourself so amazingly I can't stop feeling the love after watching one of your videos so wise, so nice and so heart warming! Keep up the good work sir! Much love and balance to you! ^_^

  12. I wasn't sure what this video was going to be about, but it has me looking at class completely different … at least for the last few months my stamina has increased a lot so class has not been to difficult over all… but it's not like I can't make it harder … I should push as hard as I can for myself and to show sifu I'm putting my all into it… I'll mentally prepare for class tonight… I can't wait to puke too 😀

  13. Thank you so much for this inspiring video! I think this message applies to other parts of life as well, like career or relationships. It's better to accept your feelings than to be ashamed of it. You can only overcome your fears if you face them. No matter what happens or how many times you fall, you have to stand up again, move forward and get stronger.

  14. Thanks for the awesome advice! Fear of failure held me back for years until I realized that failure is the most effective teacher. If you want to truly master something then go make a fool of yourself for awhile.

  15. Thanks, I needed that. I've been trying to push myself lately. Still recovering from a weight walk two days ago: went to a hill by a local hockey arena with two 15lb weights doing curl to overhead press while walking up and down the hill, then started walking backwards. It really does hit a whole other neighbourhood of muscles. What I like about weight walks is they work every muscle in the body while you get some fresh air.

  16. Sir. I've told you before that you are an awesome Teacher but I'll tell you this.
    If I was the head of a Martial Arts Organization, you're teaching style would be mandatory across the board. Should I ever ascend to that lofty position I'm going to find you Sir.
    Every Dojo needs one of you.

  17. thanks man cause I was wondering what was wrong I thought I was losing my mind. I was getting so frustrated. like you said I had to just keep pushing through. Thank for another excellent video.

  18. "Yikes!"
    I've passed through many losses of control before, into and after my training sessions, but I'm proud to still stand up and keeping working on it.

  19. you are friend of Shane Fight tip guy right? I want to know if muay thai fighters can punch through concrete walls or not ? You reply to almost every comment(that's why i like this channel),he doenen't( im understand its difficult to even read every comment) . Can you ask him ?

  20. Agree 100 percent!I was graded white belt at age 50.Year later grading yelow belt.Lost control at all.I do not know why.Two kata's – (not so much) i made not correct. Confused….I have got belt with big advance.Sensei mage examining was much younger that me.He made a favour (i gess).After i decided to make kata's 1000 times before next gradings.TO MAKE IT PERFECT :)Sensei Ando-san7-DAY MARTIAL ARTS CHALLENGE made perfect to me!Thank you very much

  21. Thanks man.  I nearly didn't click on this video as I didn't believe it applied to me…. but then realised that my fear of potential perceived 'failure' was making me seriously consider not returning tomorrow to a class I just started last week.  The reason : last week I just couldn't 'attack' my opponent – I was too laid back & didn't want to hurt him – he kicked me hard several times but I failed to respond – he then tried to kick me in the head (we'd agreed 'no head kicks') and just caught me on the lip JUST before the end-of-round beep – I was really mad but couldn't do anything about it at the time.  Unfortunately, he was taking advantage of me being gentle to do me some damage.  I didn't want to go back because I still knew I wouldn't want to hit him hard, and he'd just do the same again (and make me LOOK pathetic).  The only alternative seemed to rush him & smother his attacks – but I could see him catching me with a few hard punches, and I'd just get more wound up….. this could then result in a 'breakdown' due to the frustration of a seemingly impossible situation.  I can only hit people hard if they're bigger than me & trying to hurt me.  However, your lesson here is that maybe I need to experience that frustration to break through my fear of hurting my opponent if THEY are seriously TRYING to hurt me (even if ineffective). It's no good me saying 'I'll go easy on you' and giving him gentle little taps if he is kicking as hard as he can & trying to kick me in the face – I need to teach him to have a little respect for someone with far superior skills who is trying to help him improve his abilities – and obviously I'm NOT helping him by just being a punch bag for him to beat up. 8-D

  22. Sensei Ando I am 38y/o. I have been training in muay thai for some months now. My Kru is a very hard but forgiving man. For the first time i felt the things you mention in your video today. I had a mild sparing session today with one of my coathletes and best friends i must mention. The thing is that he has been doing martial arts for more than 20 years now , so as you can understand i was obliverated. But not in the sense you may undestand , it was in the way of him showing me the things that could go bad for me in a fight and trying to help me understand the ways to protect myself from such attacks. At the moment I really wanted to cry , but not because of the mild blows i was taking and from him which I could not block but because I could not make it happen for me. I watched your video and I must admit that it kind of put me right back in track. Tomorrow I will try again and again the day after tomorrow untill I get it done. So thank you very much.

  23. When it happened to me, I wanted to fight anyone on the street while I was holding tears. It's a weird and intense feeling, but man it really does help you grow 🙂

  24. Inspired! Just the previous days I was crossing this line from lying to crying and then trying again… Now I feel my self as better, wiser and on a step higher. Another grate video Ando!

  25. Sensei I'm being crushed by Life because I wanted to stay a Baby & cry about how come staying within my limits wasn't enough – Thank you for this video, needed to hear it to wake up that warrior spirit & Fight For A Happy LIFE!!!!

  26. I'm a living example of what you recommend. I just have one problem, I can't think of a word to rhyme with bitching for a motivational training mantra.

  27. I'd rather die than puke. I really hate it! If I'm poisoned with bad food or alcohol I know I'll get better if I puke, but I don't until I almost loose it. But I'm ok with crying.

  28. Great video! Personally I've only lost control once so far. While I know I have astma, I had never really had trouble with it until recently, where during training my body just gave up and my breathing went whack. I felt at my limit because I keep pushing myself to try meet my limits and push through them.

    However a rest, using my dust-covered inhalator and a moment of calm later, I continued and pushed through that limit. Sure, I was exhausted and my punches and kicks were flimsy, but I wasn't letting that disappointment ruin my mind. As long as I have the willpower to decide to keep going and grow, my body better decide to keep up because it won't be the last time I push it's limits.

    That moment felt terrible at the time, I was disappointed in how I just broke down, which I'd never have done before. But I overcame it and I feel better for it. Now that doesn't mean if you have the same situation you should copy what I do, your body might legitimately need to stop right then and there. But I decided I didn't want to stop and come back later, I wanted to stand up right then and there.

  29. 1000 likes mr Mierzwa I feel that I make another step to the path of transform my self when I watch similar videos and try the same time to integrate and apply all those thoughts to my life, greetings from Greece!!

  30. These moments I notice come from regulars than people new to martial arts. These moments are necessary, and a lot the time they come back. The ones that do are there for the right reason — to truly better theirself. And yeah, martial arts isn't for everyone.

    I also think it's a necessary form of stress relief. When they vomit and I say "Well, better out than in." I mean it in more than one way. 😉

  31. Hello Ando, superb channel with superb contents, a big like from a fellow viewer…
    I have a request for you. Please make a video on what's better in a street fight, palm strikes or knuckle strikes? I feel closed fist strikes just don't work as good without gloves. For example, hooks without gloves are pretty dangerous IMO for the hand… It often leads to punching with the last two knuckles if the timing is off, which leads to injury.
    Palm strikes on the other hand are much safer, they allow you to gather more momentum before impact, they allow you to hit with more power without injuring your hand, and your hand doesn't slip from the target and every hit is more accurate and effective.
    I would love to see you do a video talking about which one is better for Street fight or gloveless fighting…. Looking for some of your knowledge and wisdom regarding this, thanks.

  32. REAL MAN DONT CRY NOW IF ULL EXCUSE ME IMA GO DO MANLY MAN THINGS LIKE WATCHING THE LIFE TIME CHANNEL. (the lifetime channel is a channel for woman that plays extremely overly emotional movies and shows its NASTY)

  33. really good video. I am frustrated in my career and i am planning to quit but you make me known that I am on the right way

  34. Sorry for the late reply, I hope you read this: "Tears of a phoenix can cure any wound of your flesh, but only your tears can cure your soul". Truth to that, tension must be released, or you snap beyond recovery. As long as you don't break in the middle of fighting off a bunch of muggers in a dark alley, it's okay.

  35. thanks one more time sensei. nice advise. sometimes I feel going down, but bushido says we have more conditions to get up and breakthrough. strong mind and softness could be the point to face all challenges. Why we fall. It's to learn how to get up stronger. Oss sensei. Thank you again.

  36. I wanna learn every martial arts right now!!!!!😭😭😭😡😡 Because I couldn't protect my mom 😤😤😤Thanks For the help🙏🏽

  37. Sensei Ando, I really hope you would read this it's sort of an Emergency.
    I have an autistic hyperactive brother who's about to turn 16. In the evening he goes from adorable little child to cornered animal in seconds. Just a while ago when I was downstairs I heard him upstairs scratching and biting my mum, mum isn't strong enough to stop.So she was helpless and couldn't do anything but shout .So what he does is he grabs your arm, while shouting and crying he scratches with his nails and once your hands are weak enough, he pulls ( usually by your hair) and bites your arm/neck.
    I was okay defending him from mom for a while but he's getting stronger and I'm starting to loose control(I'm turning 18). What I usually do is If he's attacking me I push him by the chest or under the jaw to the sofa while he's scatching my underarm and trying to bite, I try to hold one of his hands by the wrist and calm him till he's tired. Once he's calm he feels sorry and kisses mum to say sorry (he doesn't know how to talk btw)
    So the question how do I defend myself and someone else from scratching and biting?
    Wish i could private message but Can you recommend any of your old videos or other sites for pointers?
    I reaaally hope you would respond sir. Thank-you

  38. I keep getting bruised ribs from sparring much bigger guys. It inevitably means a slow recovery whilst reintroducing training incrementally. It's also really depressing when I can't train. I also get the feeling my sensei thinks I'm bullshiting him which makes me resent him and the gym. Inevitably I go back and I get all the ribbing (no pun intended) from the guys. Which is fine. But, part of me hates being disbelieved. I tell myself that it's part of the process of believing yourself over others. I know the truth and that's all that matters. It's not about being believed. It's about keeping coming back.

  39. I know exactly what you're talking about. I served on an anti-guerrilla special-ops platoon here in Brazil back in the mid '80s, when we still had Generals as presidents. LOL

  40. I love your mindset its logical and smart usually the moments you're talking about people react to them as being oppressed by life or something similar that is so negative but not so many people realize that

  41. i just hope you realize how much you inspire people .. whenever im feeling down whether its martial arts or just life , i come back and watch these videos and i feel motivated again again , no matter how bad the situation is , so thank you so much for your encouragment and for the wisdom you share with us .

  42. What a great video! I love Sensei Ando! Thankfully, I've never puked, but there have been several times after sparring, I'm so exhausted I have to lie down on the floor.

  43. I have “lost it” many times and none of them were in martial arts. I had recently moved to a new state and on the first day of school everything was so new and weird as soon as i got home i started bawling my eyes out

  44. I vomited on my first class. When i over pushed by body. It was outside but it was crazy. Because it was i felt was "fear".but i got better and better and yes i have yet to vomited.

  45. Thank you Sensei. That is the first and only Video that really helped me reaching my goal of trying new things and making progress after just standing still for a long time 🙂

  46. Do u have a pod cast for this session? I liked this a lot, I always end up talking to myself at tend of my martial art classes, one time I actually broke down after my muay thai class we were learning clinching before the end of the class I got knocked down by my partner so many time, by the end of class I was like what happened. So I went for a walk after class I couldn't get my mind together, and busted out crying once I got home

  47. LOL. No, people lose it because they aren't in the habit of working at self control. I never pulled that crap and I got pushed past my limits all the time.

  48. I had a kung fu teacher who hit me on the navel the first month of training. It was a punishment because I was watching the others do the head stand and not do it with them. Well actually teacher wasn't even clear. Just tells us to stand in horse stance. Next thing my 11 year old self got a one inch punch to the navel. Heck that was harsh. But I didn't quit. It was a problem that he didn't explain or clear things. Instead he hit us. I managed for year to do exercises loool rest when he turns his back. Me and his brother were friends and had our shenanigans.

    Now the trouble came when I rested a year cause I had official government school exams. I want to return and I'm one on one with this teacher. I don't know why he had no more of his old students 😂😂😂😂😂 he was in the army compulsory service. Anyway training was 10 times difficult. At some point I cried cause doing the 5 animal stances was harsh. He pushed it and my legs hurt as hell and I felt nauseous. He seated me in yoga lotus position. Asked why I'm crying. I said cause it hurt. He said don't tell me you will cry if you get beaten on.the streets. From now on you come to class prepared for a much harder training than the last one. Now close your eyes and breathe. I couldn't focus with that harshness….ffs I'm still a white belt dude 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ….I waited till end of month and quit. 'Hey why didn't you attend class last Saturday?' ….I said I'm tired these days and classes are making me more tired. He said 'don't quit. You love kung fu. It's your favourite martial art no? You're a teen. Your body is growing. You will meet women. Have the perfect body.' I said nah I'm out 😂😂😂😂. Too much this instructor. Sorry but it was. He doesn't take a hint that his trainings are all at once. I don't know. He was doing it in what he perceived was the orthodox old school method. But not all bodies are the same. He's brutal. I once tell him not to kick my navel cause i have stomach problems and he says 'you want a kick where? On the face?' ….He saw me questioning his authority I think. Later he said let me kick you lighter so you toughen your navel. Moody this guy. I like his conversations but suddenly he goes into brute mode. I'm not against training to get better but it is all at once. 🔥 nice vid Sensei Ando. This is my story. I want to get back to training now but first on my own at my own pace. To see how I can push myself. I like the vids on this channel.

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