Ladies Tailor (HD) (2006)- Hindi Full Movie – Rajpal Yadav – Kim Sharma – (With Eng Subtitles)
Open the door! Don’t trouble us. Open the door, Chander! Hey, you nincompoop! Tough to say…
I hope he’s not dead already! Wake up, boss… …the girl who got married
last night is already divorced. There’s been a battle royal between
mister and missus Banerjee already! Open the door!
– It’s a grave sin to commit suicide. You think that shameless guy
will commit suicide… …he’s fast asleep in there!
– If they get in before you wake up… …they’ll send you
packing from the world! So wake up! “Don’t trouble him.” “Nor disturb him!” “Don’t trouble him.” “Nor disturb him!” “The guest’s fast asleep.” “Don’t trouble him.” “Nor disturb him!” “The guest’s fast asleep.” “Of millions and billions,
of flying horses…” “Of millions and billions,
of flying horses…” “…those are the
dreams he’s lost in.” “No work, no business.
– He’s a happy go lucky guy.” “No tension, no worries…
that’s the dictum he lives by.” “No work, no business.
– He’s a happy go lucky guy.” “No tension, no worries…
that’s the dictum he lives by.” “This lover will romance,
whatever happens to the world…” “This lover will romance,
whatever happens to the world…” “..this chap’s one
hell of a lazy guy.” “Don’t trouble him.” “Nor disturb him!” “The guest’s fast asleep” “Don’t trouble him.” “Nor disturb him!” “The guest’s fast asleep.” “He has talent in his hands.” “He looks for a new
fashion every day.” “The girls he sews for…” “…behaves like Priety,
Rani or Kareena.” “He has talent in his hands.” “He looks for a new
fashion every day.” “The girls he sews for…” “…behaves like Priety,
Rani or Kareena.” “But there is a problem.” “He sleeps like a demon.” “But there is a problem.” “He sleeps like a demon.” “He’s forever in bed,
the sheets drawn over.” “Don’t trouble him. Nor disturb him!” “The guest’s fast asleep.” “The guest’s fast asleep.” “Don’t trouble him.” “Nor disturb him!” “The guest’s fast asleep.” “The guest’s fast asleep.” “The guest’s fast asleep.” You fool, dumbo… …why haven’t you worn any clothes?
What will people say? I stitch clothes for the whole town.
And my assistant is naked. I’ve at least worn my underpants,
boss. Look at you! Take a look. Where are my clothes? We’ll have an ominous night…
no wonder my clothes have disappeared. Ominous, for you.
But why must I lose my clothes? You don’t understand the miracle. Ominous for you too, so you at least
have your underpants. Get off now. Stop. Stop. Your eyes have blown up, jerk?
– My fate’s blown, Jeeva. What happened?
– The girls I want to sell clothes to… …either slap me or abuse me.
– Why? Women don’t want to go to
the city to have clothes stitched. And the local tailor,
Chander, is such a lazy bum! Neither will he stitch clothes,
nor can I sell any! Dammit! Girls in the colony
facing trouble with me around…? Not done!
– Exactly. Go and tell Chander that
if he doesn’t heed my advice… …Janardhan is arriving in two
months. He’ll then have nowhere to go! Chander, my boy…
you’re gonna have to work now! What’s gotten into you, huh? Why don’t you come to me…?
Come on! Come… Hey jerk… where’s Chander?
– Go inside and see for yourself. Come with me.
– Me…? What…? Stop pulling my leg.
That’s enough now. Who’s he talking to?
– To the lizard. Look, I’ve scoured
my destiny for you. My destiny says, if you fall
on me and make me wealthy… …you’ll never have to
live on flies and insects. I’ll treat you to the
kebabs from Lucknow! And should you fall on my forehead
and make me king… …I’ll treat you to rossogollas
from Kolkata! What if it falls in your mouth? I’ll have you slaughtered!
– What are you angry for? Now listen. You’re the only tailor
for ladies in the colony. You won’t stitch clothes,
they won’t wear clothes. If they don’t wear clothes,
I won’t sell any. That’s neither good for you nor me. Forget about these superstitions
and get on with stitching clothes. Now tell me something.
Suppose you don’t have a TV. And just suppose there’s a TV there.
You don’t have the remote-control. Now try switching on the TV.
– Has this guy gone mad? How will the TV be switched
on without the remote control? That’s the key to one’s destiny!
The day I find it… …I’ll become as famous as the
film stars and the industrialists! What if you don’t find it? In that case, you, this guy,
that cobbler out there… …a burden on earth!
They’ll make my head blow! What’ll happen of you, boss?
– I’m gonna play a big part… …in the nation’s economy!
– Wow, handsome! Forget about the nation’s economy!
Let’s think of our livelihood! How will we manage
if you don’t stitch? Forget about destiny and
believe in your deeds! “The python does not take up a job”
– Next. “The bird does not work for a living”
– Next. “As has been wisely said…”
– Next. “…the Lord provides for everyone.” You get that, you nut?
And you feel ashamed now? The dog’s tail!
He’ll never straighten out! Really? Now you get to know! Else
you’d never try to straighten me out! See? He forgets who he is! Abracadabra! Who’s calling me names? No names… I’ve come
to unlock your destiny. What about my destiny?
– I can see it with my divine powers. Priest, looks like
your powers have weakened. And I see your future is bleak. Saturn’s playing havoc. The
stars are all at loggerheads with you. Your life is eclipsed. The next 12
years are very difficult for you. After that?
– You’ll get used to it. How come?
– You’ll have trouble without trouble. How do you know? Take a look at this, son.
– What is it? Take a look. Sachin Tendulkar?
– That’s me at his side. Amitabh Bachchan!
– That’s me at his side. Bill Gates!
– That’s me at his side. Indira Gandhi!
– That’s me at his side. Mahatma Gandhi!
– Err… me, at his side. Priest! I’m sick of the scissors
and the sewing machine! Tell me of a way that
will make me filthy rich! Let me read your palm.
– Okay. You are quite fortunate…
but your deeds are complicated. Can’t you use a hammer
and straighten them out? That’ll twist your hand forever. You can get rich.
But there is a problem. Problem? Something to do with your birth.
Mars isn’t favourable. If you get married after
45 years of age… …it’ll do away with the malady.
– It’ll be a remedy for Mars… …but what of the other
maladies that will creep in? Palmists like me are born to
suggest ways to overcome them. Pay me just 500 rupees! And see
the good-fortune you will experience! 500? Please manage with this.
– Better you keep it 12 years of hardship!
– No hardships, please. Manage with this, please.
– 6 years of hardship. No, sir… please remain seated. Is there no other way, priest?
– None. Except 500 rupees. Looking at the money’s future now?
– One has to… …the elections just got over. Get married, son.
It’ll change your luck for the better. Really?
– Oh yes. You’ll become king. King!
– Emperor! The mighty emperor Chandrasen cometh! But what girl is it going to be?
– What girl? A girl with a mole on her right thigh.
If you find a girl like that… …it’ll bring in the money. But sir, there are
several girls in my colony. How am I going to find one
who has a mole on her thigh? Simple, my son. There are
five types of girls in the world. Fun-loving, suspicious,
obstinate, loving and the docile. What sort of girls are they, priest?
– Let me explain, son. Do not be impatient. What impression do you get when
you see Bipasha, Mallika or Celina? The sight of them
makes my heart blossom! And how do you feel when you
see Madhuri, Juhi or Aishwarya? I feel like getting married
when I see them. These girls come
under the homely bracket. How about the other types, priest?
– Why must you bother, son? Find a homely girl and marry her. Provided, she has
a mole on her right thigh. Thank you, priest! Thank you!
– Bless you, bless you! Priest you are God for me. Thank you… thank you, priest!
– Bless you Thank you, priest. Let me predict the
future and make money. Time to make somebody else’s life! Make my cycle shine like a… Release the brake! It’s my luck that’s gonna shine! Dump this piece of junk and
prepare to buy a golden bicycle! My rule is about to begin!
– He’s daydreaming, surely. No dream, it’s true!
A palmist has told me.. that if I marry a homely girl,
I’ll get to become king! You’ll be jealous of my wealth!
– Boss… …if you’re king,
then I’m your prime minister. And me? You…? My General!
– With the right to sell clothes? What wrong have I said?
– Cheapskate, aren’t you? Even if I give him half my kingdom,
he’ll still extend a begging-bowl Okay, I won’t say much now.
But there’s this advise. Get married immediately.
– I wish I could. But there is a problem.
– What? Where will I find a homely girl? That too, a girl with a mole
on her right thigh! God Almighty! This guy’s
gone nuts! He’s gone crazy! He wants to see if there’s
a mole on a girl’s thigh! Boss, I hope you know
why Janardhan went to jail? Janardhan…? So you wouldn’t listen to me?
– Spare me, please! Now you will see justice!
– Spare me, please Bheema. You know what Janardhan does to
those that play with a woman’s honour Please spare me, Janardhan-bhai.
– Listen Bheema. I still follow the principles
of the army. If I spare you today, there will be
several Bheemas doing what you did. And that is not in keeping
with Janardhan’s principles. Jeeva…
– Forgive me, Janardhan-bhai… Give it to me. I’ve made a mistake!
Please forgive me. Spare me! I made a mistake! Forgive me. No! No!
– What happened? I forgot to ask the palmist when
Janardhan’s gonna be cremated! Not to worry, brother. There’s time for Janardhan
to be released from jail. And how about Jeeva?
– Big men always have sidekicks… who are their informants.
And Jeeva is Janardhan’s sidekick. He was my classfellow for
five years in class four. I’ll take care of him.
– I hope women won’t beat me up… …when I go around
looking for a mole? Idea! Here’s what you’ll do! Stitch
a great new dress for that girl. When she goes around in it, it’ll
give you publicity in the colony. Oh yes! All the girls in the
colony will make a beeline for us! And who has a heart on her thigh…
– What? A mole…
it’ll be easy to look for it. And who will they buy garments from… …so they can have
you stitch them up? Who?
– From me, of course! You stand to gain.
So do I. That’s okay…
– Oh yes, it’s okay. Is it a deal then?
– Yes. The mole is the remote-control
to our destiny! “The one with the mole…” “The one with the mole…” “The one with the mole…” “The one with the mole…” Step aside She is looking good today. Look at Gauri’s new dress!
– It’s wonderful. Gauri… come here, will you? Mine’s a lovely dress. The one who gave it to me
is Chander… Chander. “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “What rubbish is that about the mole?” “The soothsayer told my boss…” “Three men, desperate,
scour the streets.” “Three men, desperate,
scour the streets.” “Make our lives…
play the matchmaker.” “God Almighty,
send to us the one with the mole.” “God Almighty, send to us
the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “When I find my lovely,
docile bride…” “…I’ll marry her and
my life will change.” “Crazed at heart, we seek.” “She’s the one we’re
madly looking for.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Neither do we have her name
nor her whereabouts.” “If only somebody would
tell us where she lives.” “We’ve been looking,
asking everyone…” “…we’ve almost given up the search!” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Three men, desperate,
scour the streets.” “Three men, desperate,
scour the streets.” “Make our lives…
play the matchmaker.” “God Almighty, send to us
the one with the mole.” “God Almighty, send to us
the one with the mole.” The homely one! The docile one, I say! The docile one, I say! “Not one, not two…
I’ve found three docile ones.” “Not one, not two…
I’ve found three docile ones.” “My luck’s suddenly looking up.” Boss, you found the docile ones…
but how about the mole? Oh yes! “Three docile ones…
and yet there’s confusion.” “How am I to find out?
That is a dilemma too.” “How are we to solve this problem?” “All that our eyes see
are stars in many hues.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” I was looking for one button to my
destiny and I find three of them. Flora… there’s a fragrance
in the name itself. Rubbish! She’s no flora…
it’s a fountain. An Amitabh Bachchan fan. Boss, who’s the second lucky one?
– My word! She’s the sweet-yogurt
of Bengal! Gayatri. Dammit! Bannerjee’s daughter?
– Yes. You’ve lost it, I say!
Her father’s a bloody gambler. Jassi has no family!
She’s the one I’ll settle for! That’s a great idea!
– No great idea. Girl from Punjab. No way you get close to her,
unless she teaches you Yoga. Like this… …relax your body. Close your eyes, take a deep breath…
and release it slowly. Do it again. Again. Lord, I hope I don’t
breathe my last like this! Very good. Go on now… …show me one of the asanas
I’ve just taught you. There’s just one asana
I really dig! That is to sleep! Look sis, I’ve been doing
the asanas for four hours now. So take my advise now and let
Chander stitch a dress for you. Chander’s the best
tailor in the colony. Wear a salwar-kameez he stitches,
you’ll leave everybody gaping! But…
– No buts, sis. I’ll supply the fabric for your dress.
The best quality available. They call me FTV because
I sell only fashionable fabrics! Fatehchand Tarachand Vilayatiya Chander, you’re simply great!
What a lovely dress. I’m just great and
you’re delicious. I mean… …there’s nobody quite like Jassi! You’ve really won me over.
– Show me the mole… …I’ll be won over too.
– What? I’m told you’re a great cook!
– Well? Is that all? Okay then. Come over to my place.
To eat. Sure, I’ll be there. Pyare won’t be coming. He’s fasting.
– Since when have I been fasting? Shut up, you moron!
You always keep forgetting. Thank God my memory’s just fine.
You’ve been fasting for a year! Sorry… he’s a kid, you know. Sit here and eat bananas!
Babbles away! That’s okay…
the two of you can come over then. Who’s us?
– You guys. That’ll make a threesome!
– Threesome? Right. One, two and three. Your bike isn’t running, right?
– Yes. So much of smoke…
people falling sick. Better you attend to it…?
– Right. I’ll be right there. She’s at her Yoga again!
God… make it work today! Chander… you? You’ve come at the right time. Would you know of a stripping
asana that would expose the mole? What?
– I mean… …can you stand on your head?
– On my head? I’ll show you in a moment.
– This is fun… so much of fun! You’re so good at it!
– Keep your hands like this… …and this… is the way to go. Problem! The pyjama won’t slip!
– What are you doing? Get down here… the blasted
pyjama has ruined everything. Come… let’s have food.
– No, what food…? The sight of you standing on your
head has sent my heart into raptures ! May I say something?
– Sure. I feel shy. A gift. For you.
– For me…? God… it’s so lovely!
Am I going to wear it? You’ll look like
Elizabeth Taylor when you wear it. Elizabeth Taylor?
– Right. She wore a gown like this
and married a tailor! That’s how she got her name.
– May I wear it then…? Go ahead… may I help you with it? Go on… shameless man!
– What is it about shame…? I’ll go and wear it… let me…
– Hang on… it’ll be fun… …you and I, in one room…
and the key gets lost! Shameless man! Come back soon! My wish is going to be
granted today, I swear! How do I look?
– What will I say? I can see nothing! You mean, I’m not looking
like Elizabeth Taylor…? You look like Elizabeth.
And I’m the tailor! Look, stand just like that…
I’ll give it a try in a moment, okay? Okay.
– Hang on, hang on… What are you doing?
– Stand still, will you…? I am not feeling well. Atleast eat before you go! Well, boss? You look worried?
Did you find the mole? She was dressed from head
to toe, what could I find? You ought to have taken me along.
You’d have found everything. As if you’d have had hoisted a flag!
– What flags…? “Mother Goddess, grant
every man his wish…” Boss, you did your bit yesterday.
Now look at my style. Look at the things girls
promise God to get married! Hi ladies… attention, please. Do you wish to get married?
– Oh yes. You got to do something then.
– What? If anyone of you has a mole on
your right thigh… let’s see it. My boss wants to get married. Aren’t you ashamed to tease girls…?
– I am. But they all wave me good-bye.
So let’s see the mole, quick. That’s the way to go. Show it to me…
– Come on inside… Hey! Why are you hitting me? He’s gonna get lynched! Let me go! Big hero, weren’t you…?
Lost your style, eh? It’s a pity they let you half-dead.
I wish they had killed you! You want to be a burden on me forever? Big hero…
– They should’ve said… …there’s no mole. Why hit me? Quiet! They spared your bones
thank God for that. Chander… what happened?
– The cops went about caning people. When…?
– You know nothing! So just shut up! He went to see a
movie at Sangam theatre. Sangam…? Amit-ji’s movie, right? Can I have a ticket, please?
– Put a tape on his mouth, please! Those injuries on his head… …his tongue wags for no reason!
– I’ll treat him. He’s worse off…
– Tape… his whole mouth. Shut up now. Don’t talk! Lie down This chap, Pyare…
he went to see Amit-ji’s BLACK He forgot about the movie.. ..and tried to sell the
ticket in the black-market And the cops gave him a thrashing!
– I think he was beaten up by women. Look! See! Learn! See Dr Flora’s sense of judgement? She could see that
women have beaten you up! Actually, there were women who
wanted to see Amit-ji’s BLACK. And he tried to sell
tickets to them in black! He deserves a worse beating then!
– Never mind… …he’s terribly poor.
How the women thrashed him I’ll tell Amit-ji… if the
women listen, it’s okay… …else, I won’t stitch clothes for him!
– Chander, I wish to meet Amit-ji He’s my dream-boy.
– Dream-boy? What’s a dream-boy? Take me to Amit-ji Chander… please?
– Sure, I will take you to him. But you’ll have to do something for me.
– What? You’ll have to show me the mole.
– Mole…? Yes! The mole that
will unlock my destiny! If you have it… it’ll make me king! I don’t understand.
– May I explain? Shut up… and keep
lying down! Let me explain. If I find that mole
on your right thigh… …you and I will get married. If it wasn’t for that cursed Jeeva,
my work was almost done! You can’t wield a pair of scissors.
So let your tongue run wild! I can at least let my
tongue run wild, you wimp! All said, you’re damn good
at spinning a yarn, boss. Let me dump you! King of Spades? Wow! Hail Goddess Mother! Bless him. That’s enough, it’s okay. Well, he’s alive.
– Hail Goddess Mother! Hail Goddess Mother!
– Come on, get up. Gayatri… Let there be peace, Mother Goddess.
Take some offerings, son. – Gayatri! Get up now I don’t have enough strength. Hail Mother Goddess…
– Gayatri… where are you? Son, take the offerings. Find a suitor
for Gayatri who’ll ask for no dowry. I’ve given you the card… here it is. Gayatri…
– Chander! Here…? Hail Goddess Mother! Better she leaves…
– Look at your face! Her mother blackened
my face with the smoke! Does she sleep at all…?
the smoke all day. Come and wash your face Do your relatives ever visit you…? They must visit you only once. Sit down. Water. Let me have the soap.
– Here it is. Scrub it well…
the area around your ear… …here’s some water. Water. Give me the towel… quick…
– What are you doing? This is my sari. The towel… give it to me.
– It’s not a towel… Leave her sari and take the towel. Oh God! Hey kid… lend me a hundred bucks. Look at him snoring away…
Stand here, don’t you move. Wake up. Lord! Why’re you hitting me? If you sleep there,
where will the patient sleep? Pyare…? Yes. He’ll sleep here.
– Go on. Crazy.. Chander… sew up my bangle, will you?
– What? Your bangle…? Ask him to do it, he’s good at it.
– Pyare, sew up my bangle, please? See, it’s broken.
Sew it up, will you…? Come on. Sew it. Drive her away…
she’ll be death of him! Come with me… come on…
– My bangle! Sew it up, please! Boss, looks like it’s an
ominous night for me. No way, son… go to sleep.
What am I to do? The enemy always lands where I go.
And I don’t know what to do What happened?
– What? Your friend Jeeva always crosses
my path… do something about him. Else, your contract
with me stands cancelled! Uh huh… why d’you keep
dragging the contract into everything? There has to be another way out?
– What way…? Janardhan and Jeeva
have blocked all our ways! Janardhan is not that kind of a man.
He’s the epitome of virtue. No epitome of virtue…
he’s the lord of death. As you know, that’s not
how Janardhan used to be. Someone betrayed his sister… …she couldn’t take
the shock and died. Gauri loved her sister
so much, she went mad. Ever since, he hacks
the limbs of those.. ..that play with a woman’s honour… Hacks the limbs!
– Right. Guys, don’t worry. I’m with you. I’m going to the city to fetch
needles and thread tomorrow. On my way back,
I’ll bring something so amazing… Hello! I’m MKP… the
photographer of dead bodies! Who’s the one who died?
– Our mother. Mother? So why are you
holding the garland? Put it around your
Mom’s neck. … one moment. Smile. Hey idiot…
I asked the body to smile! Okay.. now for my fee. 50 rupees. Here you are.
– Thank you. Return the remaining 50, will you?
– It’s an advance. What for?
– As if you’re not going to die! Amazing guy… I have a job for you.
– Listen… I photograph only the dead,
not those alive. See this camera? It’s 200 years old.
It just can’t capture live humans! I’ll explain it all to you.
Come on… come! Come.
– Hey bones… …you’re not going to beat me up?
– No… I love your work. I’m going to give you a job.
– But I do no work. I’ll pay you for it.
– I do work then. I want you to take some photos.
– You know, I photograph only the dead. Why must you photograph only the dead?
– Because the dead don’t bargain. I won’t haggle either!
I’ll give you a thousand rupees. Wholesale massacre…?
– No, nobody’s dead. You got to take pictures of someone
alive. A grand… here’s the advance. Thank you! Now point a finger…
and I’ll show you the photo! Don’t waste my time…
– Let’s go! This is our colony. Come on. Drive, drive. Who is it?
– Boss. There he is…
– Yes, he’s here. MKP, this is FTV. Nice to meet you.
– Hello. I don’t shake hands. Do you shake legs then?
– Sure, I do. Sorry. Boss, he’s an amazing thing!
– Him…? He looks like a curse! What corpse have you brought?
– Corpse? Where is it…? Hang on… no dead bodies here,
except for you. I’m no dead-body…
I’m this guy’s finding. By the way, I’m a photographer
of dead bodies. I charge 50 rupees per dead body.
But only the dead! This guy is far-sighted! He knows you’re going to get killed,
looking for the mole. So he’s found a photographer!
– I haven’t become king… …and you’re already
killing me? You… You’re gonna die today! Its business time. He hits me for real. Get lost. You moron! Whom did you bring? He’s the one who’s
gonna be handy for us, boss. Really? How? This coconut didn’t break…
but it broke on the wrestler’s head. Run for your life! Run! One coconut injury and
you rush here for a bandage. Look at Amit-ji… he’ll take
a hundred coconuts on his head… …and yet, nothing
happens to him. He’s my God! God has many roles, you see.
– Amit-ji has many roles too. ‘Kaalia’, ‘Don’, ‘Mard’,
‘Shehanshah’, ‘Sharabi’… But who gave him all these roles? Who gave him the roles…? Myself!
– You? Not just that, I even
keep giving him advise. Really? You advise him?
– Absolutely. What?
– I tell him which film to sign… …which to refuse, which
producer to talk to and give dates. In fact, I even take the barber to him.
– What’s that? A french-beard? Who gave that to him? Me, of course.
– You? Really? You think I’m lying?
– Certainly. Certainly! When Amit-ji has
a problem on his quiz-show… …I’m the one he calls straightaway.
When I give him the right answer… …he only laughs in response. You nut… Amit-ji asks
the questions on the show. You don’t start
asking too many questions. Amit-ji hates inquisitive people.
– So what does he like? What does he like…? He likes people who love me.
– I will love you then. Really?
– Absolutely There’s no fall in this sari!
Strange sari this! Let me see…
– What are you doing? The colour.. If it’s transparent then it looks
even better. – What are you doing? What happened…?
Where are you going, Chander? Where does one begin from…?
The top? Or the bottom? It’s in English. Nice writing. Chander, what sort of work is this?
Look, the stitches have all opened. The stitches are meant to open up.
– What? That FTV sells such cheap garments
and still calls himself Fashion TV. Take off your clothes…
I’ll sew them up. Shameless!
– What’s there to feel shy about? Whoever feels shy with a tailor! Lay off… – go on! Go! I always carry a needle and thread.
Can you see it here? Yes, there it is.
– Take it out… carefully. Give it to me… I’ll sew it up. What happened? Pricked you?
– I feel tickled. Your silken body suffering a scratch?
No, I can’t bear to see that. Chander, do you really love me so much?
– Not just this much… …I love you much more.
180 degrees, actually. Do me a favour?
– What? Show me the mole, will you?
– You want to see a mole? That’s a stamp of
approval on your beauty! People look at it from a distance.
I admire it up close. All right… take a look.
– No… I know where to look. Where’s the needle…?
– Oh no! Where’s the needle?
– Where is it? Lift your leg! It was right here! What are you doing? Where? I can’t see it!
– What’s up? If I prick this needle
in the wrong place… …you’ll scream in pain.
– No… Go on… get lost. Pyare… the dog! Where is he? Why are you so angry early in the day?
What’ll you do with Pyare? I’m going to pickle that rat! You never stitched
anything for me ever! But I gave your sidekick some cloth
to make trousers and shirt for me. To attend my niece’s wedding.
And look at what he’s done! What has he done? Good… you’ve saved on pyjamas!
– Don’t poke fun at me… …I am not in a mood. Don’t drive me crazy…
take it off. I’ll stitch it right Don’t get angry…
– What are you doing! Not nice to see you livid like this. Give it. Bro, how far have you
gotten with finding that girl? That cursed mole has driven me nuts! And I think all those
three girls have a mole. They just won’t show it to me!
– Girls won’t show you anything anyway. They’ll hide everything.
It’s for you to find out. But I could give you an idea,
if you gave me hundred bucks. You talk of money
whenever you open your mouth! Imagine, had the mole to be on
the cheek instead of the thigh… …I’d have been married by now
and also become king! There you are…
– Wow! I’m going to kill you. I’m a failure with men’s clothes.
And thus, I’m a ladies’ tailor. Welcome, son-in-law! Please be seated. Come, Parvati! I think she’s the girl.
– No, she’s the girl’s mother. Gayatri… Gayatri, my child…
– Coming, Ma. That’s the good girl. The daughter is as
beautiful as her mother. I accept this alliance!
– Do you really…? But I have a condition.
– Condition? Right. I want to interrogate her.
– Interrogate her? Pretty girl. Do you like me?
– Yes. Do you like me or don’t you?
– Yes! Have you ever been to prison?
– Prison? Yes, prison.
– Only thieves go to prison. I ask have you ever been to prison? No… oh yes! Once…
for a flag-hoisting ceremony. Flag-hoisting. So you’ve been to prison too? What happens of me now…?
This marriage stands cancelled! Oh God, please help me.
– What happened? Gayatri, listen…
Atleast hear me out! That sea is very deep! Wait there… Wait…
– Let me go! I want to die! Let me go! Listen to me.
The water’s too deep. Leave me. I don’t want to live. Hurry in there… Go on! Nobody’s around! In those wet clothes,
you look like Mandakini. Oh, get lost!
– Why…? You do look like
Chander’s Gayatri, don’t you? You should know. Show me the mole
there’s no one around. I swear! When the girl looks disapprovingly,
it means it’s a red signal. But when a girl smiles,
it’s the green signal. Let me see… What are you doing? You get every bloody place I go to! I’m going to kill you now!
– What for…? Your assistant. He asked me to take your photo. Get lost. He has gone crazy. If Pyare asks you to jump in the well,
then will you? I’m going to beat you up
with a stick today! Stop! Stop there, scoundrel.
Where are you going? The door’s open? Flora… Flora.
– Who is it? Flora. Flora.
– Chander? Stay right there.
I’ll join you in a minute Here’s my chance! The water is coming out. Chander…
step aside. Let me take one. Take your own time. You scoundrel! Why are you beating me? Every time I try to
find out, you land there! Nobody in this town’s
dead for me to photograph. I thought I’d
photograph her mole to help you. You want to take a picture
of her bathing in there? All right, I’m leaving. Don’t hit me.
– Get lost! Can’t you think of
anything but the dead? Think, think…
– Forget him, boss. Have some booze. Okay, give me the booze.
– Have booze, my foot! If you have the guts,
go and find the mole! Else, sit here. Get drunk
and see the Taj Mahal swaying! What did you say…? I will teach him a lesson. I’m going to give that
cursed Janardhan a thrashing! As for Jeeva, I’ll clobber him
and give him such a kick… …he’ll land in Delhi from here! Give him a gentle kick, boss.
Let him land in the loonybin in Agra. Run. Hello… hello… Hello all right! Drink it up, I say! You there… drink it up.
I’ll give Jeeva such a thrashing… What’ll I say to you?
Brother Janardhan will show you. You won’t be drinking then…
you’ll shit in your pants! You understand? Get lost now. I’ll teach you a lesson now. Rascals. The kick has worn off, brother!
I’m completely sober! Boss, the kick has worn off? Before Janardhan arrives… …it has become necessary to find out
which girl has a mole on her thigh. But how, boss?
– Bro… I have an idea. Say it. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Are you going to only make noises?
We want to see a performance! Well then, I’ll show you something… …you have been seeing from
the times of the “Mahabharata” Why is there such a
deathly silence here? “Go on, boy, disrobe her,
have a ball.” “I’m your nephew, too, Uncle.
Could I give him a hand, please?” “Lover-boy, come now.” “Get another sari and come over.” “If not a sari or a salwar,
get me a dress atleast.” “Monica… my sister.” “I’ve come with Lee Cooper.” “What have you come here for?” “Why’ve you brought the
stuff without asking me?” “It’s going to ruin my plans.” Fool! Silence! Damn you! We now present to you Emperor Akbar! Anarkali, I’m told you and
Shekhu are having a passionate affair? If not an affair…
– Silence! How dare a courtesan dream of
becoming the empress of India? Soldiers… take the courtesan away.
And bury her alive in the walls. “In love, what have we to fear?” “Love is no crime.
Why must I fear Akbar?” “In love, what have we to fear?” Emperor Akbar, my eyes
reveal the desires of this slave. Do not snatch dreams
from my eyes, please. Shekhu, if you desire to marry
this courtesan, this slave… …I accept this slave
as my daughter-in-law. “Let’s hit the streets, my love.” “I’m game, let’s go.” “Come… let’s go.” “Come… let’s go.” “Come… let’s go.” “Come… let’s go.” Shekhu, what have you done? Shut up! This plan is a flop! Well guys…? Having fun? You must be having a ball! I’m the only one suffering. “Come to me, sweetheart.
Slake the thirst of my heart.” “Paro…” “Paro…” “Paro…” Paro, see what I’ve got for you.
– From England? No, I stitched it on my own.
– Really? “I can’t spend my days and nights,
until I tell you how I feel…” “Let me tell you today.” “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” I don’t think there’s a
girl with a mole in this world. Shame on you guys! You guys are
sitting like deflated balloons!. You couldn’t find a girl with a mole! Boss, we got photographs of
every girl in the colony for you. Only old hags left now.
You want me to take pictures of them? Shut up, you rascal!
Why’re you raving away? Well, well…
all the bad eggs together? What’s wrong?
– A cold and cough. I’ll be okay by tomorrow.
– So you’re ill? Never mind. Janardhan is bringing
your medicine… you’ll be all right. Here’s the cloth.
Stitch two kurtas for Janardhan. Okay. Two kurtas in so much of cloth?
– Hey! It’s okay… I’ll make four, not two.
For Janardhan, after all. Dead! We’re dead! What’s all this?
– A live telecast of your exploits. Take a look now; once Janardhan is
back you won’t have eyes to see! So take a look! Hey MKP… come here.
– Sure Closer.
– Sure, brother. Jeeva! The demon! Lord! Since when has
Jeeva turned a photographer? Jeeva, a photographer…? My foot! I’m the one who took these pictures. Lord! A double-crosser! You bloody traitor! Rascal.
– Hang on, hang on. You guys are hitting me!
This fatso, this skeleton here! And that lame-duck meets me at every
square and asks me to take photos! Otherwise, he says, I’ll be a dead man
and he’ll take my pictures! What on earth am I to do…?
– What a fraud! Tell me something. If there’s a
war between Bharat and Hindustan… …where am I going to live?
– Where? In India!
– What? Excuse me…
– Let’s give him a hard beating. I’m leaving! But I’m coming back
to take pictures at your wedding. That’s not a warning, it’s a threat!
I’ll be right back! Get lost.
– Get lost. I’m not in those pictures, am I?
– No, not you. Lord! I’m not feeling too well.
I’ll go and see the doctor. It’s rats that first
desert a sinking ship! Pyare, we can even stitch underwear
to earn a living, if we live. Let’s run away someplace tonight! The mighty emperor
Chandrasen arrived! Jeeva..
– Brother! Brother!
– How are you? You’re out! Sit down. How’s everybody at the colony?
– Great. I’ve kept everybody in line. “You’ll be my bride,
and I’ll be the groom.” “You’ll be my bride,
and I’ll be the groom.” Brother… what’s he upto? Is he dreaming? Or is he sleepwalking? He isn’t walking…
he’s gone mad. He’s dancing. Wow! Nice combination!
The blind and the lame. Now I know… this is the nut
they’re talking about in the colony. What has happened?
– I’ll tell you as soon as I know. Shut up.
– I’m not mad! I’ve found the mole
I was destined to find! I’ll now be king!
– And I, the General. And I, the Prime minister! But where did you find her? You know Manilal’s steel mart.
There’s a lane next to that…? Oh yes! The bungalow on the left, you know?
– Oh yes! So you found her in that bungalow? Not in that bungalow. I found her
in the bungalow next door. The girl with the mole…?
In the bungalow next door? Lord, Chander’s ruined!
Forget about her, please. Just tell me that
girl’s name, will you? Forget about her, I say! She’s said to be a teacher.
– Just tell me her name! Radhika.
– Radhika! Chander and Radhika… And whose bungalow is it?
– Janardhan’s. Janardhan’s …? Janardhan’s or anybody else’s ! Janardhan’s …? Looks like he’s gone. We’re home at last. We’ve made your favorite dishes.
– Really? You’re in for a treat. “The crazy djinn plays the flute.” “The crazy djinn plays the flute.”
– Gauri…? “The crazy djinn…”
– Gauri…? How are you?
– Brother! Boss, Janardhan’s back.
So it’s time you came out too. How long will you hide under
the bed, frightened of Janardhan? Every place you bleed…
I shall sweat and toil! Boss… you haven’t
buried yourself alive, I hope? I have an idea! Don’t give me your ideas!
What news have you brought? A teacher called Radhika has joined
the school on a temporary basis. She’s staying at Janardhan’s house. A golden egg in a snakepit! Here’s what you’ll do, boss…
– Play the pipe? No, go to Janardhan’s house
and speak confidently… “I’m in love with
Radhika and wish to marry her.” Yes? As if Janardhan will congratulate
me for wanting to marry Radhika! Take it from Pyare, boss.
– He’ll then sharpen his sword. I swear!
– Once it is sharpened… …he’ll pat me and lovingly kill me,
as if I were a sacrificial goat! You’re so right!
– You bloody nincompoop! Jeeva, you haven’t been telling me
anything about the colony. All is well here.
Gayatri isn’t yet married. Nandu, the cobbler, has moved to
the city; he has a new shop there. Bharti gave birth to a baby-boy
and she named him Janardhan. Why Janardhan?
Are there no other names? Brother, the tires of
the jeep have worn out… Watch it…
– Look at me running into you! Hello.
– Hello. Well? A mobile garment store…?
So what’s new? I’ll give you the news about him.
This chap and Chander… We have started a new business.
– Yes. In this business… I sell the clothes,
and he stitches them. I see… let’s move it. Brother, the truth about them…
– Please forgive me. Consider me to be falling at your
feet! I beg for your forgiveness. If Janardhan loses his temper
and cuts off Chander’s limbs… …my business will be ruined.
– How can I help that? Now FTV… you will reap as you sow. Brother, I really fall at your feet!
– Do what you will… …I’ll tell brother what you’ve done!
– Brother! Tell me… how am I to
blame in any of this? So you want to know
how you are to blame? You are the director of
the movie in which he acts! And you say how you’re to blame?
– Jeeva, let’s forget the past. What’s this?
– A bribe. You’ll bribe me? Me?
– No… it’s no bribe. It’s money to buy
new tyres for your jeep. Hey Chander! Jassi? In a sari? Got to wear it after marriage. So
I thought, I might as well start now. Where? – I got to take a left,
a right and go God knows where. Let’s go to the temple.
– Temple? When did you start visiting temples? You know, prayers help
getting twins. That’s what the priest says. A mother of twins
without even getting married? Not you… with God. What’ll God do? You and I have
to do all the hard work, right? You got to do nothing! All you got
to do is take a dip in cold water. After that, you got to
grovel in the temple… that’s it. If that could help get babies…
I’d do ten rounds. Not ten… a thousand.
– Are you out of your mind…? Why this injustice against me?
– Chander! I have an appointment…
– Come on, Chander… come. Listen to me, Jassi.
Darling, hear me out… You bath everyday, don’t you?
Today take a bath in cold water. First let’s sort it out
and take further action later? My clothes… what are you doing?
At least listen to me! Look… Hey… What…?
– Like this. What…?
– Again. If wishes were granted like this…
– Now you’ve to do 1000 circumambulations. Hurry…
– You’ve ruined my clothes. God must be terribly pleased. Glory to God.
Fold your hands. Come on, now you do the circumambulations.
I’ll keep a watch… move it! Come on. In a minute.
– Come on! You must be happy that
I took a dip in the water…? How about some relief? Chander. Fun, isn’t it? Who keeps giving
women these silly ideas? Twins, she wants! I’ll give her a dozen! I’ll give her more.
I’ll give her a cricket team. God save me. I know she doesn’t have a mole. Chander… Who are you? What do you want?
– I want a blouse stitched. It’ll cost you 30
rupees and three days. Why 30 rupees?
They charge 20 rupees in the city. So get it stitched in the city!
I use the same stuff… …so why mustn’t I charge as
much as they do in the city? Quick… I don’t have
the time. I’m terribly busy. Yes, I know. I’ve been here before.
Here you are… 30 rupees. Give me the measuring tape. Nice waist…
– What? No, nothing. Write, 36. An armband…? Nothing. The blouse of the latest
design has buttons like a mole. Write 39. Tender neck… Forget the rest. Take down her name and address,
I don’t have the time. My class must’ve begun. A very busy tailor indeed.
– That’s right. What is your name?
– Radhika. So what did I say, children…?
– Teacher You’re late. Keep standing there. Arjun picked up the bow…
– Arjun picked up the bow… …and aimed at the eye of the fish.
– …and aimed at the eye of the fish. Arjun picked up the bow…
– Arjun picked up the bow… …and aimed at the eye of the fish.
– …and aimed at the eye of the fish. How many times will they repeat that?
Arjun picked up the bow… …aimed for the fish’s eye
and then married Radhika. Who are you?
– Arjun… I mean, Chander. A ladies’ tailor I wish to meet Radhika.
– I’m Radhika. Please stop joking with me
and tell me where Radhika is. But I’m Radhika.
– Yuck! How can you be Radhika? I wish to see the pretty Radhika. She can’t even slap properly. What’s wrong with your cheek? I asked her for the teacher Radhika…
and she mutilated my face. Is she a geography teacher? Actually, her name is
Radhika and so is mine. Who lives at Janardhan’s ?
– That’s me. Why?
– You? The mighty emperor
Chandrasen arrived. Hello. So you’re Radhika? What business have you with me? It’s that affair of the mole… What? I can’t understand South Indian…
could you tell me in Hindi? I want some help.
– I see… is that all? Here you are… is it enough?
– No, not this. Actually, I wanted tuitions.
– I see. Where are your children? That’s exactly why I’ve come here.
– What? How will I be able to marry
an educated girl like you? Please don’t slap me. Until I study and become a man of
letters… how will I marry you? I mean… how will I marry
an educated girl like you? Don’t refuse me… please!
– All right. Let me think it over.
– Thank you. Listen… give it a thought.
I’ll wait outside. Listen, son.. Listen, son.. Wait here, children… listen… Listen to me. Wait, my child. where is Radhika teacher?
– I don’t know. What kind of kids are these? Teacher!
– You’re back? No, I went and brought the
blouse I stitched for you. So soon? Is this the place to give me
the blouse? Wouldn’t have been nice if I gave it
to you in the kids’ presence, isn’t it? Okay… how much? 30 rupees?
– No, 20 rupees. That’s what the whole town charges.
It’s 20 rupees. Well? Why the favour? You’re not trying to impress
me for the tuitions, are you? Whose are these two blouses?
– They’re for you. But I asked for one blouse.
– I made two. Why?
– Because you have a great figure. You want me to tutor you and
you don’t even have any manners? Stupid! Idiot! I don’t even know
how to talk to a girl! I can hardly be a ladies’ tailor! Rascal’s sleeping. Wake up! What’s up, boss?
Why’re you hitting me? Why…? Whose cot is this?
– Yours. Whose bedding…? Whose sheets?
– Yours. So who must sleep here?
– Me. Damn you, you…
– Why’re you hitting me? And why this long face? I can’t take back what I spat out?
– What? I said something terribly
wrong to Radhika… what must I do? So what’s the problem, boss? Teary-eyed, a sorry on your lips… …walk straight up to Radhika
and lay yourself at her feet. Say, “Sister, please forgive me.”
– Radhika… my sister? No… I mean, just say,
“Please forgive me, madam.” To forgive is the virtue
of Indian women, boss! Pyare, my dear man!
You’ve won over my heart! You’ve been working with me
ever since we were kids… …but today,
I must give you something. Hurry up, boss. Give it to me. Henceforth, I shall talk to you
with respect. Let’s hug, my friend. Go to sleep. I’ll finish that
unfinished business and return. Jeeva…
– Yes, brother. It’s so many days since
I had a serious chat with you. Well? Something wrong?
– No… I’ve been thinking for a few days…
– What? Tell me, brother. You’ve served me all your life. It’s time you thought
of your own future. I want you to marry and settle down. How can you say such a thing,
brother? How will I settle down! Forget about me.
Once Gauri is married… …I will think I have
achieved everything. But who will marry Gauri? God will set everything right, brother.
– Yes, that’s true. Isn’t that Chander…?
Hey Chander… come here. Come here. What are you doing here
at this late hour? That…
– What? That nightie walk…
– Nightie walk? I was going for a night-walk.
– Night-walk? At this hour? I just felt like it…
– Mustn’t have digested his food. No, I’ve digested every
bit of it. I’ll go to bed now. Go. Go. Sleep well, of you’ll get acidity. He’s quite a smart alec.
– Come on. Wait here… wait! Chander… hey Chander… Where has he gone? Wake up! Get up. Where’s your old man? Your boss? I’ve lost a thousand
bucks because of him… …and Jeeva still isn’t satisfied.
– Bloody demon? Never mind… now tell me
who’s going to pay me back? Write it down in the accounts.
– Accounts! To go bust myself! Pyare! What’s Gauri doing here at this hour?
– She drops by at any time. Pyare, that white ghost
hasn’t appeared in the sky today. Let’s go and call it, Pyare.
– White ghost? She’s talking about the moon.
– If she calls the moon a ghost… …so what will she call me?
– A white fly! And how I love to swat a white fly! What are you doing…? Stop her.
– Go away. Go away. Have you gone mad?
– Go away. White-fly has gone. He’s finished. Let’s go, Pyare. Else, the white ghost
will start sulking. Let’s go… c’mon.
– Okay, let’s go. Hey kids… I’m going to play
with you! Let’s see who defeats whom! Run, I say… Run. Everyone run. Listen. Give this note to teacher Radhika.
– Okay. Come on, everyone. Who gave this?
– I don’t know, madam. Go and call him here.
– I’m already here… hello, madam. What is this?
– A love-letter. What?
– I mean… a letter of regret. I made a mistake yesterday. So I thought
I’d write to you and apologise. I’m sorry, teacher.
– What fowl-scratch is this…? I’m an orphan, nobody taught me.
Who would teach an orphan anyway? All right. But what is this?
– Hello, teacher… Spelling, grammar nothing is right… …nothing is connected
to anything else! There are mistakes everywhere!
You can’t even write your own name. Look at this… you wrote
Chaddar instead of Chander. You didn’t use the N in
Chander for a button, did you? That’s exactly why I was
requesting you for private tuitions. All right. You may come from tomorrow. But behave like a good student. Who is it? Greetings.
– What the hell…? What joke is this? Have you quit tailoring
and joined a circus? An illiterate man is
as good as a beast. That’s right.
– That’s why Radhika… Radhika?
– I mean, teacher Radhika will tutor me. She is quite strict. If I don’t
wear a uniform, the private tuition… Private tuition?
– The tuition is public. But she wants to keep it private.
So I mustn’t be late. May I…? If I’m late, she’ll cane me.
– Go on. Let him go, Jeeva
– Let me go. Get lost. Jeeva, keep an eye on him. Brother…
I’ll keep an eagle-eye on him. Chander…
– Yes…? What are you watching?
– Looking for the mole. What…?
– I was dusting it. No need. What are you wearing? School uniform, teacher. It’ll do for today, but make sure you
wear regular clothes from tomorrow. All right.
– Sit down. How far have you studied?
– Me…? I failed once in class one,
twice in class two… …thrice in class three, four times
in class four and once in class five. I see. Why once in class five? I quit school afterwards. Quit? Fair enough. You’ve studied till class five,
you must know something at least. A poem, or a patriotic song?
– I know a patriotic song. Let’s hear it. I have made up my
mind to give up my life. Let me take on the mole now. Not a mole, it’s enemy.
– Oh yes. I got a mole problem.
– What? Nothing
– I see. You are a ladies’ tailor,
so you must be adept in maths. Of course. I know half the
multiplication of twelve. Half? Curse my luck. Let’s hear. 12 x 1=12, 12 x 2=36. 12 x 3=24, 12 x 4=36, 36 x 5=24. Enough. Is that multiplication?
Or someone’s measurement? Teacher, I’m a ladies’ tailor,
so I know 24 and 36 quite well. Can’t get it out of my mind. You don’t know a patriotic song… …you don’t remember
multiplication either. What have you studied then? Film magazines.
– What? Film magazines.
‘The Lover will Take The Mole Away’… ‘My Mole Is With You’,
‘Mole is Mad’… What the mole…? All right, take this book. You will learn the first five chapters
before coming here tomorrow. Right. If you fail to do the homework… …no more tuitions for you. And you’d better
keep your moles at home. Take it.
– The moles have ruined me. May I say something?
– Yes. We are teacher and student,
we share a relationship, you see. So please don’t be formal.
It sounds old-fashioned. Let’s be casual with each other. I know it’s a private
tuition for you, Chander. But I don’t intend
to make it too private. Go on, and come on time tomorrow. Goodbye, teacher.
– Goodbye. Chander! I’m immersing your ashes.
– What…? Pebbles. What are you doing here, Flora? I want to stitch a wedding suit
for my future husband. I’m saved! Who’s the unfortunate one?
– Silly. You are the one. How unfortunate!
– Chander! How’s my wedding necklace?
– Oh, it’s gold. How is it?
– How’d I know? I’m not a goldsmith. I’m a tailor. You tell her, how is it? Do girls in your caste wear the
wedding necklace before marriage? Not at all. I’ll wear it
after the wedding. You mean you are also getting married?
– Yes. I’m also marrying.
– Both of you are getting married. Are you playing “wedding-wedding”?
– Chander! I’ve been looking for you. Chander welcomes you. The celestial beauties are here,
but you were missing. Please come. Please come. Careful with your dress. Chander, father says, there’s no
auspicious date for a wedding this month. O Goddess, what will happen to me? Chander, please find
an auspicious date. Gayatri, why will Chander
find an auspicious date for you? Why not? Who else will find it?
He is my… Her idol.
– You’ll find an auspicious date? The smartest of all, the best, well
mannered and of good character. Right? Understand. Right. Are you having fun? Chander, try the wedding
suit after it’s stitched. Why would Chander wear it?
– Well… the size… Flora’s husband’s
and my size is the same. Gayatri, stitch a wedding
suit for your future husband too. Chander…
– Sure, go ahead. I’ll also stitch one for my husband.
– What…? Look, for a wedding suit,
you don’t need a suit, you need love. Right, Gayatri? Chander, I’m Jassi.
– I’m Gayatri. Gayatri, Flora, Jassi,
what a terrible mixture! You know what happens to the
sugarcane when it is juiced? That’s my case now. What…? Chander.
– Where’s he? Chander. Boss? What happened?
– How did he land here? And he is in deep thinking. I’m thinking of suicide.
– Sure, but after you return my money. I’m thinking of killing myself
and he’s worried about his money. If Gayatri, Flora and Jassi find
out that I’m conning all of them… …then Janardhan bhai…
I’ll lose my limbs But why should I be afraid?
– You should be afraid. Because he cuts off the hands and legs.
– How many times will he cut? He’ll cut his hands, my foot! Is he practicing for the Olympics? Listen… I got an idea. How long?
– Don’t disturb. Janardhan bhai is here.
– What are you doing here? Janardhan bhai is here.
– Not yet time for your entry. After a while. Please go.
Don’t disturb now. Let me see… Radhika! How dare you take your teacher’s name?
I’ll fix you. You are not the real Radhika!
– Radhika would cane you. All right. Ms Radhika, show me the mole, please. No moles. Will a wart do?
– Oh no! I want a mole… right here. Here? Mole? Please show me.
– Let me ask brother Janardhan. Janardhan bhai is here.
– Gosh! Not yet time, ass. Damn!
– Get lost! You’re ruining everything. FTV, I’ll whack you
if you do it again. Come here. Radhika… Radhika… I…I…I… I love you dearly, Radhika. Love me as much as you will.
I have no problems, I’m shameless. Come into my arms.
– Radhika, show me the mole. Let two hearts meet.
– You want to see the mole? Hang on. Show me. Show me. Is that what you call a mole?
Forget it and listen. Radhika, can I kiss you?
– Go ahead, but don’t bite me. I’m not Janardhan bhai.
– Who talks of carving here? Now don’t stop me!
I’m already in the frame now. He’s trying to teach
Janardhan bhai, dammit! Why should I scare of him?
I’m going to fix this swine! Janardhan! If someone is in love,
what the hell’s your problem? Radhika, reason with him.
He’s taking on Janardhan bhai! Who is this?
– I’m Jeeva. Take this. Here’s my Jeeva.
– Is he Jeeva? Bloody autumn leaf!
I’m going to gouge your eyes out. Spare me. Stop.
One minute… one minute! I expected sweets at the interval,
but I’m being thrashed here. Why are you hitting me?
Radhika, you too? I’m just joining the fun. Radhika. This swine touched Radhika!
How dare he? What the hell are you doing, Jeeva? Beat him. Why are you hitting me?
– Damn you guys! Bloody thug! And that’s your flunkey!
A family of dog shit! You are cowdung and
he’s the worm on you. Is he a worm? Beat him. Beat him.
– I’ll kill him. I quit this act. I was trying to help you
guys out, but it’s no good. You guys are thrashing me.
I’m not playing with you. I won’t play.
– Get lost. Why I am walking like this? Get lost. Damn!
– Hey you fool, come here. Good evening. Is the job done?
– Of course. You said it, I did it.
– Show me the picture. Hurry up. Fantastic. Will you do me a favour?
– Command me. What do you call that… track…?
– Trick photography. Right. Do that. Put FTV in
place of Chander. Will you? No. I will. But I photograph the dead.
– Jerk! If you don’t do this… …you will be dead and
I’ll click your picture. I will! Damn!
– Come here, fatso. Praise the Lord. I don’t get to see you.
Are you cross with me, FTV? What are you saying? I got a gift for you.
– For me? Want to check your photo?
– Photo? Mine? Check it out How’s that? Like it?
– Ruined. Like the special effects, don’t you? Imagine. If brother finds out
about your romantic escapades… …you will soon be begging.
How would that be? Why must you ruin a poor man? I won’t ruin you, just
relieve yourself of a few bucks. Sure, take all that I have. Here… here’s more. Teacher! New dress?
– It’s my birthday. Birthday? Happy birthday to you.
– Thank you. What gift do you want? A new lesson? Not on my birthday, please! Give me 500 bucks,
I’ll give you a treat. Why? It’s your birthday, why
should I give you 500 bucks? Taking money from women augurs good.
– I’m not giving you any money. I’d rather give you a gift.
– Shut your eyes, I’ll give you a gift. What will you give?
– Close your eyes, please. Why?
– If you don’t like it, return it. Close your eyes. Chander! How dare you? Get out! I’m telling
brother Janardhan about this. Teacher. “Please forgive me, forget it.” “Please don’t be cross.” “Please don’t be cross.” “I won’t forgive you, try a
thousand ruses if you want.” “For what has gone out of hands
don’t try to make up.” “Don’t try to make up.” “Forgive me! Forget it, please.” “A for Ashiq, Lover,
B for Bechara, Poor Guy…” “C for Chahat, Love.” “D for Danda, Cane,
E for Eshara, Sign…” “F for Full-Stop right here.” “A for Ashiq, Lover,
B for Bechara, Poor Guy…” “C for Chahat, Love.” “D for Danda, Cane,
E for Eshara, Sign…” “F for Full-Stop right here.” “G H I J K L M N O P Q R…”
“S for Sorry” “Please forgive me, forget it.” “Don’t be cross.” “Please don’t be cross.” “Please forgive me, forget it.” “One, two, I love you!
Three, four, I’m sore.” “Five six, I’m in a fix.” “Seven, eight, nine,
you are not mine.” “Try again.” “One, two, I love you! Three,
four, I’m sore.” “Five six, I’m in a fix.” “Seven, eight,
nine, you are not mine.” “Try again.” “Let me tell you,
you belong to me, my love.” “I see.” “Please forgive me, forget it.” “Please don’t be cross.” “Please don’t be cross.” “Please forgive me, forget it.” Hail Lord Shiva!
– Give me, priest. Hail Lord Shiva!
– Bless you. Here you are. Jassi, you look very happy. Well actually, priest, I’m
thinking of getting married. You are fortunate, dear. Next Sunday is an auspicious day.
– What! A confluence that
occurs once in fifty years. If you marry on that day,
you will rule in your husband’s heart. You will never lack anything.
May you have a happy marital life. Chander!
– Who the hell! I’m elated today. Know what? The priest has fixed next
Sunday as our wedding date. Our wedding?
– Yes. So soon…? How can we
organise everything so soon? You mustn’t believe these priests. They con people in broad daylight.
Don’t get into all that mess. What are you saying?
Has the priest ever gone wrong? Never, isn’t it?
So this is also going to be true. All right, I’ll move now.
Got to prepare for the wedding. Okay? And yes, make sure you
invite all your relatives. Okay. Hurry up.
– Okay. I don’t know if I’ll marry her. But I fear, on the auspicious day,
Janardhan will make mincemeat out of me. Chander.
– Oh no! Chander.
– Help! It’s me. Gayatri
– Oh, it’s you! I thought it’s a python
coiled around a sandalwood tree I’m here to curl around you.
Know what? The priest says, coming Sunday
is an auspicious day. I tell you, let’s get married. This occasion is
occurring after fifty years. And you want us to get married?
– Yes. We haven’t even seen each
other well nor have we romanced. No, not so soon! Romance after marriage. No romance…
I just want to marry. I’m going to tell father about it.
Just prepare for the wedding. Bye. But… listen…
– No buts. I’ll be back. I’ll be saved
if I get rid of these girls. God…
– Chander! Listen, Chander… Coming Sunday is an
auspicious day for wedding. In that case, we should get married.
– Get married? How can we marry? You are Catholic, I’m Hindu,
our gods are different. If they clash, there’ll be a war. Silly! After marriage,
I’ll convert to Hinduism. I have to make
preparations for the wedding. Go, go. Another thing. You must invite Amitji.
– I won’t… I will. I will invite the
entire film industry. Damn, this
auspicious day is ruining me. “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “Why do you wish
to trap and tempt me?” “I prefer to remain
a bachelor and live alone.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “My heart feels restless,
my mind is not at peace.” “Embrace me and comfort me.” “My heart feels restless,
my mind is not at peace.” “Embrace me and comfort me.” “I suffer without you.” “I’m in pain.” “Come to me, darling or I’ll die.” “Go to the jungle and meditate.” “I prefer to remain
a bachelor and live alone.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “You are my energy drink.” “Give me my love dose.” “You are my energy drink.” “Give me my love dose.” “My heart’s condition isn’t good.” “It’s an emergency situation.” “Come and meet me in the clinic soon.” “We’ll celebrate
our honeymoon in ICU.” “Your proposals are risky.” “Your love is dangerous.” “I prefer to remain
a bachelor and live alone.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “You are my favourite sweet.” “Come on, let’s romance openly.” “You are my favourite sweet.” “Come on, let’s romance openly.” “I love you.” “When will you marry me?” “I’ve checked my horoscope
with an astrologer.” “He predicted that my
husband would be a tailor.” “Shoot the astrologer.” “Burn the horoscope.” “I prefer to remain
a bachelor and live alone.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.” “Come and marry me.” “I’ll make every night fun for you.
Come and marry me.” You are here? I’ve been
looking for you everywhere. The colony is burning.
Fire everywhere. – What? Wedding is happening. You are too much.
– The priest says… …the coming Sunday
is very auspicious. Anyone who marries,
will be happy forever. The couple will receive heaven. Really?
– Yes. But I don’t believe in all that.
I don’t know about destiny. I believe only in deeds. Does it mean you don’t take a bath
when a lizard falls on you? Never. Do you bathe?
– I never bathe in any case. Forget it. Tell me something.
Are you marrying? Whom? You. Me? Marry? It’s not possible, Chander.
I haven’t told you something. I’m going to the city tomorrow.
– What…? No! I’m going with you.
– With me? To the city? What will you do in the city, Chander?
– I’ll set up a tailoring shop. You teach, while I’ll stitch. Trust me…I’ll treat you
like a princess, Ms. Radhika. Please don’t turn me down. Please. All right, give me some time to think.
– No, don’t think. Tell me right now. All right. Thank you. I’ll come tomorrow. Thank you. Djinn plays the band. It’s mine. Give it to me. It’s mine. It’s mine. Gauri! What happened to my Gauri? Girls, what happened to her?
– No idea. Good Lord! If brother
finds out, he’ll kill me. Move. Move aside. Praise the Lord! What’s the matter, doctor? Jeeva… Gauri is pregnant.
– What are you saying? Pregnant? Good Lord. It must be that swine Chander. “I’m leaving,
I’ve become a stranger here.” “I’m leaving my land,
I’ve become a stranger here.” I’m leaving the colony. Jeeva, how did this
happen when you were around? You are responsible for Gauri’s plight.
– No, brother. I never failed in my duties.
But that swine Chander! He pulled wool over my eyes!
– Enough. Bring Chander over. Right away, brother. Bye, everyone.
I’m divorcing all of you. FTV! Good you came. I got good news. Forget it. Take cover first.
– What for? Janardhan and Jeeva
are coming for you. What have I done?
– Gauri is pregnant. And everyone thinks
that you are behind it. Am I ? What have I done?
– No time to argue. Move it. What a mess! Jeeva… I haven’t done anything. I haven’t done anything. Bastard! Get up! I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything.
– No one in this colony… …dares to eye any women. But you… my family? My family?
– No I did nothing.
– Nothing? I did nothing.
– Nothing? I didn’t do anything. You won’t be worthy of
doing anything anymore. Bastard! How dare you do that to my sister?
My sister, eh? Didn’t you find anyone
else in the village, damn you? Didn’t you pity a mad girl? Didn’t you pity her? Swine No…no. Brother, here… cut his hands off. Take it.
– No. No… No… Stop, brother Janardhan. Not Chander. Pyare is the one. Forgive me, Janardhan bhai. Please. My boss is not at fault. I committed the mistake. Forgive me. Please forgive me.
– Forgive you? Swine, I’ll slit your throat and hang
your head up on the village square. Brother, hold back your hands. Or, you will regret. If you kill him,
what’ll happen to Gauri? What more is there to happen? Brother… …if Gauri’s child asks you
about his father in future… …what will you tell him? Pyare wants to marry Gauri. For the sake of good,
get them married. Don’t harbour so much
hatred against him, brother. Or, you’d tend to ignore Gauri. Put back the sword, brother. They need your blessings.
Please get them married. Radhika is right, brother. Forgive Pyare. And get them married. You desired to see her married, right?
It was your dream. Consider it God’s will and accept it. Leave this sword.
Forgive him, brother. Chander, your innocence
drew me closer to you. But I think I was mistaken about you. You believed an astrologer.. ..and played with the
sentiments of three women. I will never forgive you.
If you want to apologise… …apologise to them. No, sister Radhika. Chander is not at fault. I have nothing against
Chander anymore. Chander is a nice man. He had many opportunities… …to take undue advantage of me,
but he never did anything… …that’d put me to shame. Chander never took
advantage of me either. In fact, I owe my life to him. Ms Radhika, Chander could’ve
gone to any extent, had he wished. But he didn’t. Didn’t he promise to marry you girls? Yes, he did. But we now know
why he promised to marry us. Chander, do you realise what
relying on fortune leads to? Instead of deeds and hardwork… …you believed your horoscope. Even I believe in destiny, but
it’s our actions that bear fruits. Because, as you sow so you reap. I have wronged you,
in words and deeds. Please forgive me. Chander. The bus is here. Come on.
– The bus is here. The bus is here. Let’s go. Tonight I’m elated. Tonight is my nuptial-night. A cane? You should’ve
brought some milk for me. Don’t play teacher here. Alright. You look terrific.
– Thank you I’m worried about you.
– Really? What’s wrong with me? You wanted to marry a girl
with a mole and get rich, right? I have found her. I don’t have a mole.
– What…? Then who was the girl that he saw?
– How’d I know? The crazy djinn plays a flute. And eats 3.5 bread loaves! The crazy djinn plays a flute. Dammit! The crazy djinn plays a flute. I wanted a girl with a
mole to become a king. And the one who found her…
she made an ass out of him. “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.” “Send to us the one with the mole.”