Kung Fu Karl – Summer Jobs (Ep #10)


[Karl:] Aah… Feel that sizzle. Nothin’ beats summertime. No school, pool parties up the wazoo, and ice cream till ya puke. the only part of summer that sucks balls is getting that summer job. and it brings us to the Life Lesson of the Day. Seventeen-year-old-Karl was the shit. Long flowing hair, muscles sculpted out of rock, and a moustache that would cold-cock
your mom straight in the bean bag. but, I was also flat broke and my parents had just
kicked me out because I broke curfew. Or because I shot a porno in the basement. Anyway, I needed cash real bad so
it was time to get that summer job. Mowed lawns, washed cars, was a drug mule, sold lemonade, fought cats, taught bats, and caught the clap. I managed to get fired from
every single job that first day. I personally think it was because
all my bosses were assholes. But honestly it was probably
because I shot all those pornos. One day, after getting fired
from my pool cleaning job, I saw an ad for a life guard
position and I knew it was the one. You get to bake in the sun all day, lotion up all the lovely ladies, and stomp sand castles
’till your heart’s content. I was feelin’ pretty good on my first day. I hadn’t gotten fired yet, I resisted the urge to shoot a porno, and I successfully beached a crapload of whales! But that good feelin’ didn’t last long. I could hear cries for help comin’ from the water. Some dude was drowning
and it was up to me to save him. So I hiked up my shorts, stomped on a sand castle, and dove into the water. It was at this point that
I remembered that I couldn’t swim, and had a paralyzing fear of seaweed, because I sunk to the bottom
like an unbeached whale. As death creeped in, I contemplated starting
my new life on the ocean floor. I could grow a set of gills, find a sweet hermit crab shell to live in, and for a job, I thought I could open up
one of those home-made candle shops. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen to the brain, but I spotted a pretty hot jellyfish across the way. I started to think,
maybe one day we’d get married and take our little mutant
karlyfish kids out for pizza and whatever the hell jellyfish eat. Bubbles? I dunno. Let’s go with bubbles. Anyway, my dream was cut short when
a real lifeguard pulled me ashore pumped some starfish out of my lungs, and told me I was fired. I told him that was bullshit ‘cuz
I hadn’t even filmed a porno yet! Then he pointed to the dead guy I was supposed to save. I was like, “My bad,” so I kicked a sand castle
in his face and headed to Mexico. So I think you get the point for today’s life lesson. I know I usually mix around
the words here, but I am serious. I am dangerously irresponsible. Well, it’s time to finish off this base tan
with a nice golden brown in the oven. Fifteen minutes at 325 ought to do it. So, until next time, I’ll leave you with Even a broken clock is right twice a day. But you know who’s right even more? A working clock.

100 thoughts on “Kung Fu Karl – Summer Jobs (Ep #10)

  1. I sincerely hope this show gets replaced by one of the dozens of pilots they've been premiering.

    Granted this is probably the best KFK episode I've managed to see yet… but it's still terrible.

  2. Well thats because lowbrow the same creators of sonic for hire worked on this one show called college university that this character called kung fu karl would usually made some appearances in the show but then lowbrow stop making it after 11 episodes so lowbrow wanted to make a spin off out of kung fu karl and dark ninja and mondo green lighted it! Fun fact : Did you know Kung fu karl and dark ninja own a cafe!

  3. HEY! Someone actually got the full backstory correct!! Thanks madman18able!
    Usually people like to make up their own backstories about our crew behind all these shows

  4. My little pony friendship is magic is a pretty good show, Don't get me wrong I like the show but their are other shows out there that in my taste of humor that are funnier like KFK while other people might think this is ok while my little pony would be the best show ever made or it could be total opposite! Is my little pony any better?, Well it just depends on your opinion of the show, to tell you the truth I like both shows, but I think this show is funnier but it's just my opinion!

  5. I agree with you on how the humor is awesome but it's just my opinion! Thumbs up if you enjoy this humor style, Thumbs down if you dislike this kind of humor style!

  6. I have to agree, I personally think dick figures is funny and awesome but their are some show that are as good or better then dick figure like happy tree friends for example, I would like to see more happy tree friends, I mean who doesn't like seeing a cute set of characters get horribly murdered!

  7. i said everything u said that was wrong… u said: notthing (nothing*), thought (thought), YOU'R (you're or you are*) WORNG (wrong*)

  8. what the fuck is your problem!? your one of those 12 year old who just dislike every other video, and then wait for ONLY dick figures…

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