Kung Fu Karl – Picking Up Girls (Ep #13)


[Karl:] Karl is the total package. I’ve got the body, the brains, and of course, the bulge. So, naturally, I’m an ace
when it comes to the ladies. And I just happen to be in a sharing mood. So here’s First, take a girl out to a
real fancy restaurant, like, uh, Crab Splatterz or The Soup Murderer, or Pasta Monster’s Fun Time Pizzatorium. Have a couple drinks, share a few laughs, then throw yourself down an
elevator shaft and completely shatter your spine. Now your date will have no choice but to spend the next 28 months giving you romantic sponge baths, changing your adult diaper, and reordering your vertebrae until she falls madly in love
with you and your high-tech wheelchair! Or, she never calls you again and you suffocate under the massive medical debt from your expiremental spine operation. Now the ladies go to great lenghts to look good, and here you are lookin’ like a bag of walrus farts. You need to bring your “A” game. So shit, shower, shave, throw on some clean undies, pants, shirt, and a tie. You wanna look flawless, so
use a little cover up on your face, maybe a little mascara to make those eyes pop, and girls love a strong chest
so get some support under that shirt. loosen up the tie and undo the
top buttons to show off the goods, now, uh, roll up those pants
really high and tight on the thigh, and finish the look off with
some fishnets, stilettos, and a wig and just wait for the girls- hell, even the guys to melt in your arms. And finally, Tip #3. Any girl loves having a little mystery in her life, so naturally you should
make her think you’e a superhero. Show up ten minutes late to your date
and hurriedly put on your “disguise.” You’d be amazed how no one will
recognise you if you just put on a pair of glasses. During your conversation, start dropping very subtle
hints about your secret identity. Like, how you fight for justice, or how you miss your home planet, or how you must defeat the evil Professor Explositron! You know, subtle stuff like that. At the end of the night,
when you’re sliding her the check, Have your shirt pop open a little bit
to reveal your superhero costume. Then tell her she’s seen too much, throw down a smoke bomb, and escape back to your secret lair. Now you appear only at night, fighting evil doers and keeping this city safe from the scum that boils beneath its very feet. Wait a minute. I feel like I’m forgetting something. Oh right, the girl! Well, I can only imagine
Professor Explositron has her now, just another soldier in his
brainwashed zombie army. Eh, whatever. She wasn’t
that good lookin’ anyway. Okay, fellas. Follow my advice and you’ll be
a suave lady-killer just like me in no time. Now, ladies, I know what you’re thinking: Well, how about you get off my back for a second, because I took care of that with
Karl’s Bonus Lesson of the Week. Ladies, gettin’ a guy to be yours forever involves a complex series of steps and techniques. Got a pen and paper? Got an important question that needs answerin’? Tweet that crap at “askkfk” and I’ll answer the hell out of it. Or ignore it. Hey. You like subscribing to things? Subscribe to Mondo. Do it! Do iit.

100 thoughts on “Kung Fu Karl – Picking Up Girls (Ep #13)

  1. this is how google translated karl: be in a sharing mood so here's behaves crazy capital of the best way to pick up ladies tip number one why do dunham snap your spine?

  2. No fair! At first I thought this was a parody video because all the advice for men is terrible. But then you go ahead and give the girls advice that actually works. Like I said: NO FAIR!

  3. turkeys go to great lengths to look good?, heck most girls i know just put on some clothes and perfume after they got drilled in their ass and shitstains on their boyfriends dick

  4. this was tottally hilarious some truth but completly random loved it main the subs will never stop but where them 180 dislikes come from doe?

  5. That sequence is from the amazing world of gumball!!! From the episode " the tape" I think, but I'm not sure. It's that cheat in real life thing.

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