Kung Fu Karl – Hollywood (Ep #8)


[DK:] Hello, internet. Karl cannot do the show today, so I’ll be taking over with There are so many ways to bring shame to – [Karl:] Tryin’ to steal the
spotlight once again, huh DK? Answer me! Huh. That’s, uh… That’s a lot of ear blood. Anyway, Dark Ninja and me fight over everything. The remote control, the last slice of pizza, even the remote control pizza slicer. In fact, fighting is what made us
huge movie stars in Hollywood. And it brings us to the The year was 1972. Or was it 1927? No, wait… 2197? Was it in the future? Did this story happen in the distant future? Anyway. I had just crash-landed
a helicopter into Hollywood with dreams of makin’ it big. Fifteen minutes later I was dead broke and turnin’
tricks on the street for cat food. I had just finished performing
an Alabama top hat on what I can only assume was a lady, and I had my eye on a fresh can
of cat-flavored kitty chow when all of a sudden this punk ninja
flies in and steals it from me. It was on! I chased him down and we
battled it out for six months straight, only stopping for bathroom breaks and Alabama top hats. One day, while jamming DK’s face into a tailpipe, we were spotted by Guy Slickman, Hollywood’s hottest agent. He wined and dined us and said
we were destined to be movie stars. We started out in a bunch of
low budget movies to get our faces out there. “Hits” like and, of course, Gary Shmeckle’s
untitled student project 8B. After appearing in over six thousand shitty movies, and earnin’ close to eight
hundred cans of cat food, we were finally ready for the spotlight. Our own movie! We wrote, filmed, and edited
the entire thing in under 20 minutes while huffing a bucket of bat shit. I played the heroic Blonde Ninja while Dark Ninja played the evil Or did DK play the heroic… I dunno. Who cares. Anyway, the movie was a
hit and we were super stars. The first thing I did with that paycheck was
buy back my parents’ house from the bank and then had it demolished right in front of ’em. That’s what you get for not believing in me, dad! And DK just HAD to out-do me
so he splurged on a used mid-size sedan which I promptly demolished. Did I mention I also bought
a huge demolishing machine? Because I did. I named her “Smashy.” Anyway, we were livin’ the good life. All the booze you could snort, a different girl every night, a different knight for every girl, and more money than you could shake a stick at. We hung out with all the Greats. Like Robert Downey Sr.’s dad, carrot bottom, and that guy from the bank commercial! the fame got to our heads, and after bombed at the box office we were kicked out of Hollywood, shipped off to Malaysia, and spent the next 20 years ploppin’ out over 20,000 Dark Ninja movies, each one worse than the next. Sometimes I miss the simpler days of dolin’ out Alabama top hats and scarfin’ down cat food, but most of the time I don’t. Because it was fuckin’ disgusting. So what did you learn from today’s life lesson? Movie stars are dickwads. Well, you learned that I used to be a movie star, and a dickwad. [DK:] Uh… hello, internet. Karl cannot do the show today, so- HGUH Okay, so I’m still a dickwad. Well, I should probably go
drop off DK in front of the hospital. So I’ll leave you with Never look a gift horse in the mouth. ‘Cuz they keep all the
GOOD gifts up in their butthole.

100 thoughts on “Kung Fu Karl – Hollywood (Ep #8)

  1. It depends on which direction he's looking in. I typically have his lazy eye side be near the same spot usually and reset on occasion. Sometimes when I have him look really far off with his pupils I may shift it more to adjust. I toned down the pupil shift/reset after the first episode when it was too distracting.

  2. You should try it. It's a lot of fun!
    Actually I don't advocate or condone anything done in these videos. 😉

  3. that is so awesome that you told us you are from a country that was mentioned ones in a internet cartoon.
    your life must be so exciting and awesome.

  4. @SuperBuffalo007

    That's what I thought. Stupid, though.

    I mean, what about 'Death Ninja 85483: Did I Remember to Turn Off the Fan?'

    Classic movie.

Leave comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *.