Hilariously Bad Knife Defense BS Martial Arts

So this is what happens when you’re a lumberjack and you get attacked by a samurai And of course you’re travelling in the 5th dimension because of the speed look at how slow you can slow down time boom right in the head and Then you get him in the arm while he’s going down Now you hit him again, or I guess you trap his-oh wow So he’s not gonna. Let go of his sword huh even though he’s down ok, let’s watch this again How do-how many pounds is that log Who’s gonna walk around with a log is I don’t know if you guys walk around with the log Let me know besides a lumberjack or let’s say you work on a telephone pole or something. Why would you have a log? And The guy with the samurai sword if you notice has a black belt whereas this guy has a white belt. No actually no It’s a black belt. It’s one of those black belts. That’s been so worn that it’s become white again It’s part of the martial art tradition is that hey once you’re a black belt you wear that black belt and it gets so warm from all the blood sweat and tears and all the Training and then eventually becomes white and then you’re humble because the journey of life is circular you’re always learning But I think this guy kind of went off the beam path of this learning also just so you know I don’t know if someone with a samurai sword attacked me I don’t think I would have enough speed with my log in real time, but again. I don’t think this was serious I don’t know. Maybe they are serious. You never know what these things, so this is a knife defense and let’s watch it Look at that Sticking your neck out you little knife instructor I want to slash that neck right there, but we’re playing some sort of pattycake down there in the belly area Alright, let’s see if this guy can do better again. What happened? no one’s gonna slice the face huh what the fuck is this? Yeah, that is You’re sticking your neck out okay? I think I think I made that point clear enough you’re sticking your face and your neck out. No one’s gonna Just jam it up there? Okay, I can’t watch this anymore. Sorry guys This guy seems to have combined Harry Potter moves with bagua kung-fu moves look at that circular of attica damn Xeo you know he’s moving in a circle And he’s it’s almost like dance cheerleader moves. He’s combined baton twirling – look at this Flipendo i’m Pulling up a list of Harry Potter spells Aguamenti al artist Gandhari and APENIO~ Those kicks aren’t gonna do anything, Alohororoaaaa Aperahseeum~ okay. Don’t take lessons from this guy. He’s not gonna teach you well

100 thoughts on “Hilariously Bad Knife Defense BS Martial Arts

  1. I assumed this was a technique that if you were a character from an old black and white japanese movie, and your just walking with your log, as you do in those times, then suddenly YOU'RE ATTACKED!

  2. i carry a spare tire for defense and i call my martial art style nintendo. there aren't a lot of kicks, but you do learn how to fall down. my martial art is particularly effective if you and your opponent are sitting in computer chairs the entire time. the advantage to my martial art is you can earn your black belt in about two hours.

  3. They practice …..Bull-Shitzu developed from the ancient philosophy of Bulshito! The same philosophy that brought us Kakate, Crapoera, Kung-Poo and that bull shit used in every Steven Segul movie EVER! ha ha

  4. Thank you all for your hilarious comments! Glad you were entertained by this comedic critique 😉 Feel free to send us more clips!
    To see more hilarious videos critiquing funny techniques, please go here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtdbPxlsaM_mrpN75fQtCa3lUO5DM4Py5

  5. The knife was to train a low blade thrust with bad stances and such. The last guy was doing rythmic gymnastics. No martial arts.

  6. Finally! I hate every time i got to the store and get assaulted by the fucking samurai who live in the corner of the street, so now all i need is to get a fucking log and gain muscles to carry it around

  7. *watching a try not to laugh video*me: meh

    watching one of your videos*me:*laughing uncontrollably like an idiot

  8. These videos always crack me up. The other day I was on a stepper in the gym laughing like crazy watching these bullshido videos….always brightens my day….

  9. I have carried and dragged logs in a similar manner when doing some clearing work and when dealing with firewood. Thing is I'm probably going to have a saw knife, axe, or a saw of some type which will probably work better.

  10. Logs don't kill people, Bs self defense kills people.

    Ask your local log dealer for instructions before purchasing your first carry on log. (e.g) In the state of Florida you have to be atleast 12 years old to take the LPT (Log permit test) and you must keep your log on a leash, better safe than taking a log to the top of your head.

  11. Hey I always carry a log with me. People point and laugh but they cant understand what a lethal self defense weapon a log can be in the hands of a master.

  12. Mate 3:36 is just a drill they are doing and learning a specific thing.. I am sure there are other methods they would use for slashes to the throat. We do "similar" (but not quite the same defence) at beginner levels for Eskrima. But later you do the more practical applications of it with resisting opponents.
    If you think it's so easy, go to someone who knows how to use a knife and show us how you do it mate.

  13. Dont take lesson from this guy, unless you want to learn a stylish knife dance to show your skills to your friends before cutting the turkey…

  14. You're an idiot, I always carry a 50 pound log in my backpack, you've never been attacked by a ninja before have you?

  15. That's what happen when u play Clash of Royale too much and u start carrying a log just in case a bunch of goblins trying to rape u

  16. Dont underestimate us the lumberjack log walkers :))) we can stop the time during fight combat and we can stuck it in your weapon put you in armlock stomp you with the weight of the log while your arms wont let go of yours previously stucked weapon to our magnetic log 😉

  17. Russian Tanks carry a bunch of logs to help it get unstuck in muddy areas, so why not take an inspiration from them. Now, you can be a human tank too.

  18. It's called a kubaton, and it's a simple hand held self defense object . I often carry a kubaton of the size, some even a lil bigger for defense and there concealability, plus if i ever get stranded on a desert island I will have enough wood to start a rescue fire or possible construct my own raft . Please don't ever judge a book by it's cover (even if it happens to 120lds) that's all I'm saying.

  19. Let be honest…. The guys who teach this shit are bad….. But the people who sell the bullshit…. In this case our lil samurai buddy….. Is this dude actually paying for these classes?

  20. As for the knives…. Not only are they sticking their necks out theyre standing broadside…… Basically presenting every organ as an easy target 😂

  21. Pleeeeeease tell me where this class is! I would love to beat the holy fuck out of the instructor and THEN explain to him WHY i did. Christ almighty I can't wrap my skull around grown adults knowingly and willingly doing this stupid shit! and people think forced sterilization is wrong. fuuuuuuck you.

  22. If I' m not mistaken, the man with log is bujinkan shihan (10th dan or above). I see this a lot in bujinkan community.

  23. What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over your neighbors dog? Whats's great for a snack and fits on your back it's LOG LOG LOG.

  24. Also i suspect the guy Harry Pottering is training some form of Stiletto fighting. This tipe of knife fighting was widely used by gangsters and mobsters in various southern regions in Italy. It was practised in jails, and resambles a dance cause the practitioners used to train one against another in a simulated duel called the "zumpata" (traslated is like "the jumping") using spoons or little sticks, sometimes with needles on the point.
    Even today is practiced, usually in days of religious celebrations, by the sound of "tarantella".

  25. You want to catch the blade between your neck and shoulder and then disarm him by breaking the clavicle with a palm strike.

  26. Lol all i know is that i would literally be willing to bet my life i could take anyone featured in this video. Without pulling my Sig.

    I would have liked to see the katana v tree full speed though

  27. Come! ill teach you how to bamboo defense with my panda kungfu. Don't be little me just because im cute.

  28. That log video had me rolling. Who's walking around with a log? And what kind of wood is that log made out of where you can hold it out in front of you like that?

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