GIANT YAHTZEE BOXING
You know that song, California by Katy Perry? Mhmmm. I feel like that’s me. You need to shave your mustache Remember when I bought you this? Remember when I bought you this voodoo doll that had your face on it, and you cut its head off? What are you talking about? That looks like uh, a fucking player What was it, Lavar Baller or whatever the fuck, what’s that? Who? Basketball? Just shut the fuck up dude. Take your gift all right? Speaking of … California, I got some stuff in here that I think might help us remember where we came from. It’s a candle. Dude I’m so tired of this fucking stupid… It’s a candle that’s.. has this the scent of Denver. So it’s open skies and mountain pine trees, fresh hemp with earthy notes of paka paka chula, Stop. and cedar. Oak moss amber. What the fuck are you trying to singe me for? Just fucking open it dude, no one cares about the goddamn product description. What’s that smell like? Don’t smell like Denver. How do you know, have you been to Denver? Haha yes. It’s like when you go to a different place and you have a.. you have a little piece of you know your city You ever go somewhere and you’re like damn, I wish I could.. wish I could remember what Denver smells like. No I never said that. You’ve never said that? No. Okay well… That’s gonna fall. This one’s New York City, I’ve never lived in New York City. What’s this one? It’s got to be, Pennsylvania right? No. It’s Los Angeles You’re fucking dumb. Why do New York? Why couldn’t you get Pennsylvania? Why New York? I never lived in New York. In case you go somewhere and you want to bring the smell of LA I don’t know why they give us some New York one. I uhhh… I definitely ordered Pennsylvania, but hey. Ohhh! That’s LA all right. That’s uh, that’s.. that’s definitely LA. That’s definitely LA? Fucking stinks. Ah, ha funny bit. All right, um… Stop lighting stuff on fire. It’s super juvenile. Shut the fuck up dude. Nobody wants to see that anymore. Really? That it? -Yeah, that’s it.
-Ok. Alright. There’s another one in here. Okay, you’re gonna get a bonus gift this week to make up for uh… Make up for last week’s being a fucking mess Or the time when you gave me like one gift? This is the world’s loudest whistle. 142 decibels. It says you can use it for rescue. You could use it for alerting. You could use it for police. Can use it for police? What does that mean for police? It just says police right there… I don’t know. Looks like some type of fucking ancient like Myan vase Oh shit. Those are for me. -Those are for me, bitch!
-Motherfucker. Do you hear that? Nope. Lungs. You’re not even doing it. I only have one lung. You’re not doing it! Is it loud? No one’s reacting to it. I blew so hard. Do it your hardest. That’s a little bit louder. She’s fucking looking, dude. I think you can’t produce that much, maybe your lungs are fucked up. Do you want to try it? I’m gonna wash this. Why do you need to wash it? You’ve got AIDS. We’ve kissed before, you fucking gay. Loud? Not loud? Okay, well… That was only part one of that anyway. Part two has nothing to do with it, it just came in the same box. I already gave you these. I know, you got me a pair of gloves before. Yes I did. And you had me box a dummy. This time, it’s a little more personalized. I’ll drag this out… Is it your fucking face on it? Come on over. Now… You see here, we have a formidable foe. However… Who that foe is, is really up to you. Could that foe be… Um… I mean that’s too like That’s so last week dude. He streams like Fortnite now. He just barely, like you know, relevant. Could that foe be… Everyone’s favorite boxer. Well see I’d say yes, but two things… This could get you ready for an actual match. He would kick my ass, and you know I’d.. I’m, you know.. you know what I mean? You know, my… Well then… A ghost from your past. Yes. All right Trevor. Last time it was just a bit, this time: It’s for real and personal. ‘scuse me. ‘scuse me. Oh fuck. Oh yeah he’s been workin’ out. He’s been workin’ out so much. Ah fuck. AH! Oh yeah. Jesus Christ. Oh, you broke his arm. Set him up. C’mon! Say it again bitch. Say it! Wonder what he said to him. Say it! What do you want him to say? What? What? I need to go back to gym, dude. Do you have Joe’s face? Before I give you my next gift, let’s uh.. hear word from our sponsors Okay. Hello, and welcome to this week’s sponsor Vincero Are you looking to increase your perceived wealth and success without spending a ton of money? Well, shop Vincero. The watch that’s built for a boss. This is my Vincero watch, still wearing the same one from the very first ad read Sharp, it’s contemporary, I can wear it to work every day It hasn’t been destroyed by a million random things that have happened here You don’t have to look at your phone like a dweeb every time you need to see what time it is *dweeb noise* Every watch is manufactured and quality checked by hand before being shipped out to you, the customer. This is the kind of attention to detail and dedication to quality typically only seen with luxury watch brands over $500 While Vincero watches start at a little over $100. We get compliments on our Vincero watches, they’re great. and… durable. Go to VinceroWatches.com/CowChopApr18 and get 15% off of your order when you use the promo code COWCHOP. That’s VinceroWatches.com/CowChopApr18 Enter that promo code COWCHOP, 15% off. Get yourself a watch. Yeah, lookin’ good. Alright, back to Amazon. Hey welcome back, thanks for sponsoring this video. James, I got… Give me like a minute. I thought we’d de-stress a little bit. Not another stress method. You know who passed away this week? Last week? *whispers* Last week’s a long time ago. Mortal Kombat? No dude, fucking vici, okay? I thought this week we could take some time, bust out some… Heyyyyyyy brother *epic singing* Yeah. This is a littleBit’s corg synth kit What the fuck is that? This thing’s pretty cool. It seems pretty rad. I’d say it’s rad tastic. It’s a word I made up, I’m coining it, trademark 2018. Comes.. comes with uh… Comes with some pieces. It’s kind of like connects? What they’ve done here is they’ve made little machines basically You hear that? You can throw these on… Push me and then just touch me Um… Is this is a Mario level? Oh shit dude we’re in the lava kingdom We’ll mix them, you can make spooky sounds here we’ll uh… This is spooky. Is that aliens? Whoa, it’s a spaceship landing. I just like zipped out of space I just zipped into space. Did you? Wow James! That was fun. Yeah, it’s pretty fun. Do I have a… Do I have like a second gift? Do I have like um… ‘Cause you usually g– Usually… We usually give each other mo– Listen. Doesn’t it sound like he’s saying wow? Wow! Yeah, I feel like I’m playing Roblox. Sure. This.. this is like a one-of-a-kind item This used to be on Amazon. However, they pulled it So I had to go to ebay. That’s why there’s eBay tape all over it. I see, someone put it in a Lowe’s box too. Is it a big game of Yahtzee that you play in your yard? Yardzee. Okay. Oh it fucking stinks! Is the bucket for the dice? Yeah the bucket’s for everything. It’s also– Ew. What is that smell? Yeah, I don’t know. Nice dude, three ones. Mm-hmm. And two fours, you already got like I think a full house or some shit Do you wanna play blackjack 21? Seven. 13. I stay. You’re gonna stay on 13? Stay on 13. If you throw that, the most you get is 19 I stay on 13. Just… okay. Blackjack, you ready for it? Dude that’s so far. I can see it from here. No you can’t. What? Dude! What the fuck? -That’s not even near it.
-Tally it up. You got 16 Fucking amateurs, dude. Are you.. you’re gonna stay on 16? Come on, you punk-ass bitch. Fuck, it’s a 4. It’s a six, you went over. You lost now, fucking loser. Oh, what the fuck is that? Oh, it smells what is that? You’re on fire dude. Thanks for watching this episode of Amazon, big shout out to our sponsors Thank you guys for keeping this show rolling. Without you, I mean, dude we’d just be buying stuff from like yard sales and thrift stores and dollar stores Would make for a good episode, but hey. Thanks anyway guys. Make sure to check out some other videos and hit that subscribe button. You know what I’m trying to say. There’s also a merch store. Tell you about that, that’s where you get cool hats like this one. I’m gonna go lose some weight.