What’s this alarm supposed to mean? What´s up Trash-Viewers – today we´re gonna watch “Frankensteins Kung-Fu Monster” aka “Kung-Fu Riders” It´s a sequel to “Super Riders Against the Devils” “Spawns from hell – indescribable in their looks” “A radiation belt that grants superpowers!” Let´s read a part of the german VHS cover text and let it melt into our brains After his escape from europe the brilliant but mad scientist Frankenstein prepares for his revenge on humanity at the far end of China Isolated from the external world He develops his most scary Kung-Fu Monsters in his laboratory from the test tube Hit-Monster ready! Crack-Monster ready! Dragon-Monster ready! Fuck-Monster ready! Kill-Monster ready! … Now i found a big mistake in this cover storyline! “With his weapon of horrors, he also wants to destroy the earth’s axis” Would you like fries with that? That´s fucking wrong! Because this is the story of ” Super Riders Against the Devils” “A movie that´s gonna let you forget about all your before-adventures” In the original tv show there was no such thing as Dr. Frankenstein (only in Germany) You even won´t get to see him anyway He only speaks through a fancy, colorful something to his Monster leader “General Scorpion” “General Scorpion – Here´s the elixir of death!” But Dr. Frankenstein doesn´t only have General Scorpion and an army of quirky rubber-monsters – supported by baddies in skintight skeleton fetish overalls No his ultimative villain secret weapon is “Minion Calcium”! …and it´s turning people into bath foam! “No you can´t do this! You can´t do this to me! Nooooooo!” “Ha,ha,ha,ha – Now we´ve seen the incredible radiation power of Minion Calcium!” Monstrously isn´t it? Besides – you can also grow 50 feet high or even like Godzilla – if you insert Minion Calcium into the rectum. All jokes aside – it´s a very serious topic… The survival of mankind! Because when all of us have drowned in this murderous bath foam…who´s gonna shoot films like this then? So who´s gonna protect us from these badass villains from hell? When worse comes to worse and even the army can´t help then we gotta call the Kung-Fu Riders…or Super Riders, who will give our villains the shivers just with their outfits and their insect helmets! Our elite Kung-Fu Squad is riding some badass motor-bikes – which leads to some furious wild chases Riding such a bike is so much fun, that even in great danger, you have to go for another spin “Yin Kid we have to talk to you now” “Just one moment, i have to go for another spin” “He´s such a crazy guy” What´s happening next is an LSD-like fighting trip with a lot of Spencer/Hill bashing in many different locations And there are even more new Super Riders appearing with crazy names like… “Super Rider V3 is here – The transformation was a success” “Fuck me! Another Super Rider?!” “A fantastic simbiosis of V1 and V2 results in Super Rider V3!” “A Super Rider!” “I am Super Rider number Four!” “So you´re a Rider too?” “Yes I am, I am one of you.” “Dr. Chin made me a Rider.” “I´m Rider number …. Four!” “Aha…” So what else do you want? Grab yourself some cold beer and enjoy “Frankensteins Kung-Fu Monster”

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