Chutney | Tisca Chopra | Royal Stag Barrel Select Large Short Films
She took her husband’s money and put it into charity! But, Vanita said it’s her savings from the kitchen money. Oh c’mon! I know her family from Ghaziabad She is such a liar! Hi, Didi (Big Sis)..! What a smart saree! Both of you make such an Amazing couple. We were JUST talking about that…right? (off-Screen) Viri, it’s your favourite Chinese food tonight! (laughing sarcastically) Chinese food is not going to satiate him…. This month, it’s going to be your photograph in the Charity’s magazine! Hey, our Model town is a tiny place! Everyone knows who is doing what. And who…? (Laughter) Didi, you’re so brilliant! Handling your home, the Charity, everything…! And, my husband praises your cooking SO much! I want to come over and learn from you! When shall I come? Shall I come tomorrow? yes tell me She arrived so suddenly…!
(Whispering) You were speaking so loudly Let me get a refill… Get me a cold drink! I’ll get you one…! Two colas…One Diet! What a fantastic sense of humour Viriji has! Will you have…? You wanted to come home? Come… Come tomorrow (Lewd song Off-screen) Vanita didi? On the terrace (Lewd song continues) Hi Didi!
Hello! Come, sit! What’ll you have..? Tea? Cold drinks? A little cold drink, maybe… I’ve almost given up drinking colas! Don’t want to become fat, like some Married Aunty! Your earrings are really pretty! Where did you get them made? From Shagun Jewellers… Munna…! Get two glasses of cola up… There was a sale on…! And are those fritters ready..?!? From the money I got as gifts at the festival… Very pretty…! So many..! I’ll just have one or two, that’s it..!
Thank you! … so amazingly tasty..! What have you put in it..? Oh, making Chutney? It’s so simple. Really! Coriander, Mint, Tamarind, Chilli, Lime! But, not from the market! It must be home grown! In my hometown Ghaziabad, we put everything into the soil. nothing is ever thrown away! egg shells, vegetable peels… tea leaves, etc…! Suddenly ‘organic’ has become fashionable here… …we’ve been doing this for years in Ghaziabad! How I wish I could have served you some of Bhola’s cooking… Really delicious food he used to make… he had magic in his hands… But, the crazy thing was – he’d cook… …but not eat any of it… I’d say, have one fritter, Bhola..! He’d say, Didi, it’s an unaffordable habit! No one will feed me in the world outside…! Who knew he’d leave so suddenly? I still recall the day he first came home! docile, puppy dog eyes he had…he would look at things in constant amazement! Bhola had grown very attached to Viriji… Children are innocent, Easy to train…! Animals can be trained. Why not children! We once had a dog- Jackie! He was also a wide-eyed creature…! He also fell under Viriji’s spell! Now, there’s so much traffic outside… but he’d know as soon as Viriji’s car would approach! His ears would twitch… he’d dash outside! And one day… …he got crushed… …under our own car… Jackie died…?! Love…it’s a very bad thing… Then..? As you know, Viriji has this quality…he casts his spell on everyone to attract everyone. It’s just that he has a little constipation but I make sure to give him some natural fibre every night… by morning – everything is fresh! But, Viriji seems so fit! As if…?! The doctor had recommended exercise- But he told the doctor, “…if I have to exercise, then what use are you..? So the doctor said “sure, sure…take 2 spoons of this medicine every day.” Then, Viriji said to me- “See, how I straightened him out!” What do I know?! I’m from Ghaziabad… Back home, we exercise! We don’t take so many medicines! ‘Feet Warm, Tummy Soft, Head Cool & Slick-
Beat back the Doctor with a hard stick!’ Y’know, the other day at the club – Mrs. Mehra was really showing off! That Mr. Mehra has 7 medicine pills a day! What’s to show-off in that?!? Exactly! Do I go telling people that Viriji has 15 pills everyday…?? Oh, you are hardly eating! Shall I call for some..?! Munna…!! I’m right here! So, where did Bhola go..?! He went off to get married! When he was leaving Viriji bought him 2 sets of new clothes, a warm coat, jewellery… I told him, don’t waste money… … servants don’t belong to anyone…someone gives them 500 rupees extra, they’ll be gone in a flash. Viriji said, “You keep quiet! You are from Ghaziabad. You don’t know anything. And, would you believe it, Bhola returned! And, the bride he got – fair as milk! looked like she’d get dirty if anyone so much touched her. Really! Then, Viriji’s workload increased… So he started taking Bhola along to the factory every day. But Bhola would finish all the housework after getting back every evening.. Dumb F***er..! Didn’t Bhola’s wife help out in the house? No way! Bhola refused point blank…”our women folk don’t work for a living.” So, what was the problem?! (softly) One afternoon, I heard the front gate opening… Oh my God… I saw it was Vicky!! My heart almost stopped! Why had Vicky come home at this time? And he’d worn his tight jeans and smart T-shirt…! You have never met Vicky, have you? Viriji’s younger brother. He used to live with us. Helped Viriji in the factory But… then… he went towards Bhola’s room…! I wondered what he was doing there…? I went downstairs. (Girlish giggles) Give me…! (giggling) Here…! (giggling continues) This is the way ‘decent’ folk behave! If was interested in all this, why did he not get married?! Get married, I say… Everyone is a loose character in Viriji’s family! His uncle has ‘kept’ two women…! And, Viriji’s aunt…! Would retire to her room upstairs right after lunch, complaining of pain in her knees… And, 5 minutes later, their hulky manservant, Sankar, would follow upstairs… Started with a leg message and…. Really…?! Yea..! And, then, one day… …Bhola returned home unexpectedly! Viriji’s lunchbox had been forgotten at home, so…! You go. I’ll heat it… (Off-screen) Vicky Bhaiyya (brother)…! I was very tense! Now Bhola will certainly whip his wife! Then..? Hey, why are you still here..? C’mon, move it. Fast. The guests will arrive! We’ll have your special mutton tonight! But, Bhola stood frozen… He didn’t speak a word. What could he have said? He had never ever dared to meet Viriji’s eyes! Hey, Bhola! What’s happened…? Bad news from back home..? Speak, dammit! Don’t make me repeat my questions..! Disrespectful bugger..! Go – cook! Now, you know his moods…! When he loses it, he really loses it. Eat, please…! And the dinner that Bhola cooked that night….the guests were licking their fingers! You’ve outdone yourself…Delicious dinner…! I’m promoting you! I am giving you a 1000 rupees raise! You know how he is…! His generosity is limitless…! Listen…! Listen! Vicky…! Bhola…! Come fast…!
(Off-screen scuffle sounds) Listen, I… Now, what do I know…? I’m from Ghaziabad… He knows everything. Viriji can handle any crisis! So, I said- Start digging. Dig deeper. Or else…the stink is unbearable. I’ve always wanted to grow my own vegetables. In any case….how expensive vegetables are these days…..!!! Back home in Ghaziabad, we bury everything that’s useless – into the soil. We don’t throw anything away. It makes the soil more fertile, you know. (Music)