CGRundertow KUNG-FU HIGH IMPACT for Xbox 360 Video Game Review


I’ve got a little bit of a problem with
the Kinect. It stems from years and years of playing DDR, Rock Band, and other games
where accuracy and timing are your bread-and-butter: I don’t do well with inexact controls. I
can permit some cheesiness, shouting weird things, convoluted plot, low-tech graphics,
or bad voice acting… but when the game’s going to sit there and tell me I missed, when
I and everyone with a functioning set of sensory apparatus know that I didn’t… that’s
beyond the pale. Doesn’t matter if it’s the spins in Beethoven Virus or the shouty
bits in Hier Kommt Alex. It’s a mechanical failure. And Kinect, which doesn’t have
a mechanism so to speak, is as egregious a transgressor as any. Part of it may be my
physical incompatibility with the device; standing at 6-foot-4 (that’s 193 centimeters
for you international viewers), it’s really tough to get me in the shot without an airport
runway’s worth of space. And there isn’t that much space, here in space. Y’getting
me? So, Kung-Fu. I loved it on the NES, but this
ain’t no NES. No, instead it seeks to drop you, yes, you, the player whose picture was
just taken on the sly, into the pages of your very own comic book! Look at me, I’m like
Sketch Turner! Anyway. You’re off to collect a package from the docks, after waking up
in your clothes apparently (man, must’ve been one hell of a night), when suddenly ABORIGINAL
HOSTILES FROM NOWHERE. And you were just supposed to pick up a comic book! And here’s where
we get to the point of the game, that is, aside from taking pictures of you to compile
into a comic book. It’s COMBAT TIME. Erm. Okay. So you’re standing in an area,
and then hostiles come at your sides, and you punch and kick them off. And there are
combos you can do, if they feel like registering. And your enemies have health bars to deplete,
if your hits feel like registering. And you can block and dodge oncoming attacks, if these
feel like registering. And you can jump, by jumping and flinging your arms in the air
and arching your back over. Again, say it with me now, “If it feels like registering.”
Often, this just isn’t the case. And when you’re the better part of two meters and
all of a hundred kilos, that kind of nonsense is just disrespectful to any furniture, pets,
or neighbors what might be in the vicinity. That kind of flailing takes room that almost
no one has. My best performance was when I adopted the Steve Urkel stance, and that’s
just sad. That’s just sad. And the reliance on these rather shaky mechanics
only becomes more and more significant as the game goes on. Once the spear-wielding
jokers start hitting the table, you’ve got problems. You can try to jump over them, but
you probably won’t succeed in the motion until you’ve taken significant damage. You
can try to abuse a height differential, which is your best bet, but even these don’t appear
in each stage. I like the idea behind the game, and I appreciate the aesthetic, but
– and I hate to use these terms – the inaccuracy just breaks the game to all but the most casual
player. I mean, the martial arts minigame in the first EyeToy: Play back in ‘03 felt
significantly more responsive, and better as a party diversion, though Kung-Fu High
Impact does offer player-controlled foes for ganging up on the guy flailing before the
Kinect. But this game’s draw is in its comic-book campaign mode, which – if you’ve got the
space, the right body shape, and tolerance for dodgy controls – is worth at least a rental.
More if you’re a huge Comix Zone fan.

22 thoughts on “CGRundertow KUNG-FU HIGH IMPACT for Xbox 360 Video Game Review

  1. Tj you just prolly suck at it. You're not very athletic. I'm 6'4 aswell shy of "100 kilo" and look a lot less chubby. You prolly need to put more effort into it. Also isn't this already a ps move game?

  2. I think the fun and exercise out weigh the negatives. My bug bear is really that I was hoping to be able to just download it when its been released in retail packaging. Its a light arcade game. If anything the packaging was the biggest mistake.

  3. This review is very valuable IF, like the author, you have played a lot of fighting games using controllers. YOU WILL HATE this game.
    This game is meant to be a big blast during a party. It is like Just Dance, only it appeals to boys too. If you think Dance Central or Just Dance is too girly, give this one a try. Rent it or download the demo. Believe me… it is hilarious. Not recommended for hard core games, though.

  4. who cares if It has an innovative idea and its fun if played right!

    If It has kinect in the name it sucks!

    -every damn reviewer out there.

  5. Never play this game alone. You will surely hate it. Some friends (and maybe drinks) are required…. It should say that in the box.. he he.

  6. Absolutely yes. It is laughing stock 100%. Totally hilarious. It borders practical joking. Don't play unless you want to make a fool of yourself (or make a fool of someone else… hint.. hint). If you play this game alone please have your head checked soon.

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