CGRundertow JOHNNY KUNG FU for Nintendo 3DS Video Game Review


QUICKLY. You have one hour. Your girlfriend’s
been kidnapped by Mr. Wang, and it’s up to you and your fists and feet to save her.
You are… JOHNNY KUNG FU. Starring Pauly Shore as Johnny! Scarlett Johansson as Paula!
Alan Rickman as Mr. Wang! And Weena Mercator as The Hopping Woman! Sixty minutes! Story
after story of fistfights! Liquid Crystal Displays! Flying knives! Number-based duels!
Ramen breaks! Are you excited yet? Because I’m running out of breath! I’m going to
SIT DOWN. (TJ will be right back after this gameplay footage.) Johnny Kung Fu is what happens when you take
some rudimentary plot, several Game & Watches, beat-’em-up action in the style of a Viewtiful
Joe (without the time fiddling), WarioWare Inc. Mega Party Games, and a touch of SOS
(AKA Septentrion), hand the whole lot to Martin Yan, and set Chef Yan to “Course Paste (extra
loud).” If it felt like I just dropped a pile of names, rest assured that every single
one of them (with the possible exception of Martin Yan) is completely justified. Johnny’s
on a mission to scale Mr. Wang’s headquarters, one floor at a time, by jumping between eras
of gaming if need be. Both the upper and lower screens are fair game in this one, with the
top playing host to newer-school, split-level beatdowns and the bottom to handheld Tiger
games of yore. You’ve got a hard one-hour time limit, made more difficult by the fact
that continues cost five minutes each. And it can take quite some time to slam your way
through a legion of minions in preparation for a showdown with today’s boss character
(only to see them become just more minions in just a couple floors), or to survive a
battle of reaction time in a Judgement-esque showdown. You might have to juggle bombs for
a time. You might have to return color to the world by punching out baddies. It doesn’t
have to make sense. It’s Kung Fu. The dialogue is minimalist and cheesy, the
character designs are cheesy, the enemy AI can get super-cheesy at times – not unfair
per se, just ruin-your-childhood difficult… and frankly, that’s the best part about
this game. It’s like a flash animation come to life, with unlockable marathon versions
of games, unlockable kung-fu techniques, and… the occasional pause break for ramen. Complete
with life-like slurping sounds! If you’re up for a laugh, a piece of nostalgia, and
perhaps a very relaxed chicken, grab it from the 3DS store for a scant six bucks. Maybe
the best six bucks you can spend on your 3DS that isn’t called “Mighty Switch Force.”

25 thoughts on “CGRundertow JOHNNY KUNG FU for Nintendo 3DS Video Game Review

  1. This game is awesome, but it gets difficult as hell, especially with those blades at the very top where you don't even know where the hell they'll be next. Still TJ pretty much described it and for once its an accurate description 🙂

  2. mighty switch force is still the best e shop game. just wanted to put that out there. but as for this game ive only played it for about 20 minutes. but i had some good fun with it and will definitely be going back

  3. man i just did… what is that all about anyways? 😛 thers like loads of funny vids with it, but what started it?

  4. lol its why i can't even watch derek's reviews, too much useless jokes. if i wanted this kind of shit i'd watch a toby video

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